Ever requested any records?

Had a weird dream/nightmare about being framed for a crime, which made me sit bolt upright and request my police records just now. Very boring process, had to photograph my NI card and try to remember all of my addresses from the last ten years. Think I might’ve lied accidentally. Might request other records now for the hell of it.

Anyway, ever done it? Any fun surprises?

Credit file.
It was a hoot.


Oooft, fun.
Similarly when my friend was buying a house with her partner, she was like “would you like me to look up your credit score? I have an app”, and this was pre corona, but I was like “no! I will spit in your eyes if you look it up and tell me how bad it is.”

Always ask for The Rat if I’m out for my birthday



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Obviously I have never been noticed by the police. Total straightedge.

Did once have to get the official copy of my long birth certificate.

Later some work-based background check thingies rejected it as a ‘copy’ and wanted the passport I’d used the ‘copy’ birth certificate to obtain.


University transcript, it was a blast from the past

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My partner did this a couple of years ago, Took them weeks because the records were in some off site warehouse, which was a nightmare as she needed them to accept a job. When they eventually turned up it was just pages of blank sections saying ‘no records found’ or equivalent. Job didn’t care of course, they just needed to tick a box saying they’d seen them.

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Yeah, medical, dental, police before emigrating. Brought them all with me when registering for the GP in Australia and they did not give a shit.


Had my lawyer (I have a lawyer now) request some records from the registrar in the town where my dad was born to confirm if I’m Dutch/German/a bastard. Requested a long form birth certificate for myself too.

Was your police thing before emigrating so ludicrously quick you were sure they just pocketed the money and sent out a certificate?

thought this was going to be a thread about going to 42’s and asking for saturn 5


I knew my mum’s Dad was Irish, so wanted to see if I qualified as Irish too. (To see if I could get a passport enabling me to escape rainy fascism island).

So I went through all the genealogy sites, and got her birth certificate, her mum’s marriage certificate, and her Dad’s death certificate but drew a blank on his birth. So it seems I am stuck here.

It’s a running joke with one of my mates whenever he DJs that I’ll ask if he’s got any ABBA, as if he was a wedding DJ and not playing cool obscure electro.

One time he called my bluff and played some Greg Wilson re-edit of an ABBA b-side


I don’t recall tbh sorry!

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I request the world record in the pole vault please

Played a gig in Aberdeen once and ended up at a rock club afterwards which was playing some pretty good jams (At The Drive-In, Jimmy Eat World, stuff like that).

Went up to the DJ to ask if he had any Refused. His eyes lit up and he seemed really enthusiastic - “yes man! great shout!”

Never played any Refused did he. Prick.


Clue’s in the name


My wife feels so strongly about doing this when we’re out that she painted this


Would genuinely buy a print of that