Ever snitched on somebody?

No, but psst @anon5266188 has!!!

Have I bollocks!? Go fuck yourself, friend.




A friend of yours that you have known for 4.5 years is selling drugs, and not the cheeky kind! We’re talking cocaine, Heroin and prescription drugs and he always has loads about in his place. You don’t know who his punters are, but he is raking it in. He’s saving up to buy a house to live in following a messy divorce so he can see the kids, and has talked about creating a donkey sanctuary!

  • I would snitch him to the pigs
  • I would not snitch him to the pigs
  • I wouldn’t snitch, but our friendship is over
  • A donkey sanctuary! I love donkeys! I want in. Gonna help run drugs across the border for him

0 voters

Bastard ex flatmate nicked my deposit of £500 plus. Then used the old contract that had my name on it meaning that the council came after me for Council Tax. He’d stayed in the house six months after I’d moved out.

After proving that I was living elsewhere I found his new address and told the council where he’d moved to.

The bill I’d received was cancelled. He received a bill at his new address, in a different borough, for the entire amount. Which was about the same as he’d nicked off me.

I snitched on him to the Council Tax people, yes. But it was justified.

You’re at your local café, competing in the annual chess tournament. The whole chess year has been leading up to this. Everyone from the club is there! You are watching the semi-final between 2 great competitors that you haven’t really exchanged more than passing words with. In the middle of a fierce battle, one gets up and goes to the toilet. During this break, the other opponent moves a piece one space (you can’t make out which) and nobody else has apparently seen (they are all eyes on the other exciting semi-final). On returning, it’s the piece movers turn, he takes his go and announces “check mate!, mate” The other competitor, looking slightly befuzzled, goes to shake hands and says “good game, Darren” while the room of around 25 people echo his congratulations

  • Excuse me everyone, Darren moved a piece!
  • Not my fucking problem, Congratulations Darren!
  • I would have a quiet word with Darren
  • I would have a quiet word with the cheatee (and will find out his name from someone as I seemingly don’t have that information to hand)

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You’re at your favourite artisanal, vegetarian and vegan friendly delicatessen. The staff, and particularly the owner,are a bit up themselves. You’re waiting in the queue.
The man in front of you looks a bit down on his luck, and while the owner briefly makes an amendment to the blackboard to remove the vegan carrot cake (it has been selling like a hot cake!), the man leans over and takes a large vegan friendly kielbasa and puts it down his trousers, entirely concealed from view.
When the owner turns around, the kielbasa thief asks “is there any chance you could spare some bread, I’m rather hungry?”. The owner scoffs, “pffft, what do I look like, a charity?”. At the same time, the owner notices the missing kielbasa and accuses the thief himself. The thief denies all knowledge, and the owner turns to you. “He stole it, didn’t he? He must have done, what happened?”

  • I don’t know mate, I wasn’t watching. What’s even in a vegan and vegetarian friendly Kielbasa?
  • Yes, he stole it, it’s down his trousers
  • It wasn’t him, a Labrador ran into the store and took the whole thing, was amazing
  • It was him, but he’s down on his luck, let me pay for it, how much? 20 fucking quid? What’s even in a vegan and vegetarian friendly Kielbasa?

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Needs to be a “I wouldn’t snitch if he cut me in” option. That’s what I’d do.

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100%. Sadly, I’m becoming more convinced that I’m going to have to whistleblow at some point as I move into healthcare. They’re even giving lectures on how to do it ffs. I think though you have to do it in the transparent way possible, and give people the chance to both explain their actions and even change then before going over their heads.

If you remember the Staffordshire trusts scandal a few years back…well there are far more safeguards for reporting now, but attitudes still remain, unfortunately.

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Some dick made a load of racist comments, so I went to their manager and they ended up getting fired. Don’t feel even a little bad about it.

TBF I also confronted them about it at the time and their response was ‘I’m racist, get over it’



Whistleblowing = “Dan made racist jokes”/“The boss is stealing money from the charity”/“Kev has an anti-semitic screensaver”

Snitching = “Gavin didn’t really have a migraine on Friday”/“Louise took your ergonomic keyboard”/“Boss, Jeff was supposed to be in at 9 and it’s now 9.05”

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Actually yeah, fair point as isn’t always feasible to speak to the person directly (if perhaps you’re being targeted, for example), so in some cases full on snitching is fine (especially for that twat you just mentioned).


You’re queing at your local cafe, just then a man in a business suit barges in ahead of you before shouting his sandwich order at the girl behind the counter (who is already rushed off her feet). Later when seated the man apologies to you for jumping the queue and says he’s had “a stressful morning”, out the corner of your eye you see the girl spitting into the mans sandwich order before handing it to him. What do you do?

  • Tell the him immediately
  • Do nothing
  • Have a word with the girl warning her against doing anything like that again
  • Wait for the man to eat his sandwich then tell him

0 voters

Grassed some racist prick up to his employer years ago. He was posting lots of awful stuff in-between talking to his friends about a new job he’d started. Wasn’t difficult.

Ooh I like these games

I did think “would I actually confront her” but…she’s just being caught spitting in someone’s sandwich, there’s no way I’d be losing face in that exchange


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