i really don’t get eye contact. you have two of them, but they’re only meant to focus on one thing, but then other people have two eyes, not one eyes and i feel rude singling one of their eyes out so i jsut give up and go back to my corner.
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Alternate between each eye as fast as possible to ensure your conversation partner is as relaxed as possible.
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that would require a conversation partner. Unless you can sign up somewhere for them, I’m at a loss for such a pair of eyes
I’ve drawn a picture that I just scanned in so you can practice on your monitor
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my eyes and face hurt now. I fail to see how any of this is worth it.
How’s your eye contact if you fancy someone then?
One of my favourite songs about eye contact.
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n/a, l’ll have already ran away before it got to that point
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Intense and unforgiving
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Just the kind of eye contact I like!
Can’t not read this in Morbo’s voice
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You could get a promotion
does that mean more work, or just sorer eyes?
Depends on your job role really. Not an optician are you?
I’d eye contact the shit out of you 
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funny how “eye contact” means looking into another person’s eyes and not physically reaching out and touching their eyeball, isn’t it
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Excerpt from Epimer’s exit interview at his last job
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I used to work with someone who would only look in my hair.
you’re on