there is a swingers night at the club I went to where single women get in free, MF couples are 25 quid and single guys are 50 quid and “specially selected”. I guess it’s about controlling the demographics

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So part of it is that most of the younger people who go, go there as a safe place to meet another couple/woman/group that is often prearranged. Once they meet and make connections with people they fancy then they just arrange private parties with that group and don’t tend to go back. That’s my experience anyway. I’ve had two really good night’s out of say six where the others have been pretty miserable but have met lots of people I fancy and been to private events with as a consequence.

But yeah for single women or new couples or whatever they’re just a safe space rather than it being the pull of the venue itself.


Having made use of various kink-related sites while single and as part of a couple, it is truly stunning just how unable the average male user seems to be at constructing a message that:

  • is more than 5 words long
  • isn’t inherently insulting or objectifying from the very start
  • is actually readable instead of being a mess of text speak and just nonsense characters

I’m a little picky about spelling etc in general (but don’t judge people for it, more my failing than theirs) but yeah … when you’re trying to connect with someone in order to do unusual or extreme things to them/have them done to you then ffs please try to put in enough effort to make your message actually coherent. If you don’t it makes mereally doubtful as to how much you’re going to pay attention to the specific wants/needs/limits/conditions I/we have for the meet-up.

I thought that girls I’ve spoken to were somewhat exaggurating how bad it is, but then when I went on as a couple and everyone was messaging me expecting a women to be on the other end it really opened my eyes. And then when I was single and had plenty of men messaging me personally - it’s just draining having to sift through everything. You can start off as enthusiastic and keen as you like but once you’ve got through the 20th message saying “that a nice dick pal???” or “mmm fuk your ass 2day hun” you definitely start to lose faith :confused: Like, we’re all here for (roughly) the same purpose, I’m not offended by your interest or the concepts you’re trying to get across, just make them sounded the slightest bit appealing please!


Oh sorry. Didn’t read it all properly.

Must be a bit of a shame but I have limited sympathy for middle aged men so :woman_shrugging:

To be honest there’s definitely still plenty of options for them. I see nights advertised that are ‘greedy girls’ where it seems everyone gets a go for want of a better phrase, or gloryholes and all that and I’m sure they get to enjoy themselves then but probably not on the more ordinary nights. Some people also seem genuinely happy just sitting at the bar all night!

What a weird world. So when’s Barry doing an ATP DiS orgy then?

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I was expecting to hear Waterloo Sunset at this kink festival. I didn’t think I’d be receiving a famous Waterloo Sunset!


Other than being old, single and into kink, I can empathise with this post


Also I want to complain about the logistical nightmare that is trying to arrange group meets but I feel that’s a niche within a niche within a niche.

I don’t like dealing with organisational issues at work, I certianly don’t want to be adding them to my private life too. Argh.


Have you tried a Doodle poll?

Damn, knew Survey Monkey wans’t the way to go

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All joking aside, Doodle polls are great for avoiding lengthy email chains

Anyone want to have sex?

this thread is so creepy

We have kids as did most of the couples we were trying to arrange things with and it was very difficult to set things up, especially so as i work odd hours. Can’t imagine trying to organise a group meeting larger than that (as well as the fact that finding a genuine 4 way attraction between 2 couples is difficult enough) Definitely one of the issues that sapped our enthusiasm toward the end.

no kinkshaming ta x


just constant horniness from people is now spilling out from the filth thread into the rest of DiS


we all have needs

really though if you find this thread creepy you can read the many other threads. just because it’s there doesn’t mean it caters for you.


yeah I understand that but I’m nervous that people here are going to be overstepping the boundaries with other users

Why? People willing to openly talk about sex aren’t more like to overstep lines than anyone else imho