Facebook Notifications

Did you know it’s impossible to turn notifications off for things you’ve liked on Facebook? Drives me fucking nuts how many useless notifications I get on Facebook, but I have to keep using it for comedy stuff and some of the notifications are important.

One day, we will realise that the compulsion to check notifications is an addiction of sorts and someone will take Facebook to court for being such needy cunts not giving you proper control over your notifications. It drives me fucking mad.

It isn’t impossible m9

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It’s a bit out of control now isn’t it? No I don’t need an alert that someone I haven’t spoken to in a year is interested in going to an inflatable water park in another country.

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can I shock you

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How do you do it then?

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Covered your lot in the tags

I was too slow

So NEEEEDY

But the thing I don’t get is - that Facebook lot are pretty clever, and they must design the site according to what the majority of people want. So that means that lots of people must love these insipid notifications?!!!

Can’t do it on Instagram or Facebook either, such shit.

I know you can turn push notifications off on mobile, or SMS or email notifications off, but I want to be able to customise the notifications I get

It’s because they compel you to keep using it, I assume, though I have no real evidence of this.

I remember in the late 90s how my mum and I would text each other whilst sat in the same room just to get a text message notification. It was so exciting/we were so boring.

Now I turn off every possible notification, don’t listen to voicemails, have uninstalled the apps if every social media account I do use and my heart is in my throat when my phone rings.

That said I do get back into the social media notification zone when my mental health is bad but I think that might be a case of chicken/egg

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FTFY

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Have you switched off DiS notifications?

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But piss enough people off that they stop using it/use it less and you have less advertisers

Christ, you weren’t kidding.

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Yeah, I think it’s something along these lines, based on my lack of research and general rage.

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Facebook is extremely profitable. They know what they are doing.

ciao bella