Failure Thread

Given my way with money, I fear this has already come to pass.

Oh yeah, I wasn’t really talking about social / romantic failure. Just the kind of failure that can be measured by a Confirmation of Result. Unless she had some formal application process for courtship.

Yeah this was a straightforward thing about adjectives.

The rule turned out to be:
If there is a definite article or another word that tells you the purpose of the word in the sentence, the adjective just has a basic ending.

If there’s none, you put the ending the article would have had to show what the word does.

If it’s ein/kein/mein/dein etc, there’s a special rule.

That’s literally it, yet somehow we didn’t grasp/get taught that in two years. It was all about memorising some tables that we were never taught how to use.

Fuck your rules you NVQ failing fuck!


Not at all now but when I was younger I made every kind of train related failure a person could make.

Had a period of the following happening at least once across a couple of years: Getting on the wrong train, getting the wrong kind of ticket, booking a ticket for a different day by accident, staying on the train a stop longer than I should have done, not having my young persons railcard on me (which ended up getting me booted off), missing a train by being late, losing luggage, not reserving a seat and ending up standing for hours etc.

Was hopeless at a Medieval Latin course, so bad that it pulled my degree grade down.

There were only three other undergraduates who signed up, so to save money they put us in a post-grad Medieval History seminar, and told us they’d just give us a different exam paper when the time came.

There was no problem with the actual language, but us three undergrads would read the texts and think “I understand all these words (and also noticed that this monk can’t spell and keeps putting French bits in), but I have no idea what it’s actually about”. The history post-grads were a bit more clued up on the context and just wanted help with the Latin. It was at this point I realised my brain just didn’t seem to grasp theology very well, or be able to keep a very good grip on which Crusade was which. There were endless texts which were just monks bickering about small theological points, which felt just like the monks discussing how to draw surprised backwards horses on The Toast, except you were supposed to take it very seriously and be able to churn out essays on the topic. It was always a relief when Abelard or Heloïse turned up.

The exam took the format of “Here is a historical text. Translate it, and then write a commentary on the contents and historical context”. I was really hoping that it wasn’t going to be bickering monks or one of the Crusades that could possibly turn out to be a different Crusade. Unfortunately I got an ambiguous Crusade. In the end, I passed the exam by 1%. They probably felt sorry for me, doing a decent translation and then writing a hopeless commentary.

driving test - since passed
History A level mock Exam (got a U!!! - I got a D in the end - fuck you mrs nobel!!!)
being in a band / making music
being an artist


Fair few jiujitsu matches think my record is about even now, rapidly expect this to change as I changed belts recently.
Failed my MCSE in server 2008R2 twice, cost me £100 to take that exam :smiley: Finally passed the third time

Alright, Bob Dylan


Driving tests, relationships and boiling eggs. Never an actual academic exam that I know of, even the one where I cried for the first 20 minutes of the 90 min exam. (Got a C)

I can’t help with the first two but:

  • if you refrigerate your eggs (and let’s not have this argument again on here!) take the egg out of the fridge a good half an hour or so before you’re going to boil it;
  • boil a kettle and pour the water into a saucepan;
  • gently lower the egg into the water;
  • cook for 5 minutes exactly.

Works every time for me.

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I’ve only ever tried boiling 8 eggs simultaneously for an egg curry. I’ve followed egg boiling advice to the letter but it doesn’t work for 8 eggs :’(

A driving test.
A couple of interviews
A Level Maths.

i mean, what kind of monster would?! :wink:

That will lower the temperature of the water and delay the cooking the process!

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Tell us more about your charity work too.

It’s very important to me, Keith.

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I failed a Chemistry test at school, a Chemistry module at A-level and S-level English at college.

I have since been unsuccessful at many job interviews and was so bad at a job that I was effectively performance managed out of it.

I also failed to get past the group interview stage for The Chase and the interview stage on Mastermind.

Shit: you know, I’ve forgotten something that I’ve failed that you definitely didn’t fail. I failed an audition for Countdown when I was 19. Octochamps>>>egg boilers

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I failed at being a middle manager in the Civil Service. But that meant a) I didn’t have to work in the Civil Service any more and b) I knew that I didn’t want to.