Fantasy Bank Holiday Allocation

8 days:

2 x xmas
1 x NYD
1 x end of May (Friday)
1 x end of June (Friday)
1 x end of July (Friday)
1 x beginning of August (Friday)
1 x end of August (Friday)

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1 x xmas
1 x boxing day
1 x new years day
1 x my birthday
1 x the day after my birthday
1 x late may bh
1 x mid August
1 x halloween

8 at the beginning of July. Whole country off at once for a week, we could invade somewhere, or all get together to dig the deepest hole in the world.

But where will I get milk?

That’s a long time for the shops to be closed.

I’m assuming the shops will be closed the whole time, by the way.

Might need bread too, man can’t live on frozen bread alone.

There shold be a gender neutral version of those types of phrases.

Person can’t live on frozen bread alone.

Oh yeah, Halloween would be good but fuck your birthday, that is just so fucking selfish!

its also my son’s birthday. How dare you

The Italians get a whole month off (sort of) and what have they acheived? Gesticulating, riding Vespas and dressing old ladies in black.


shop assistants need not apply for time off during bank holidays

Hahahah - he’s nicked all your glory. No one cares about your birthday anymore!

Get milk yourself from cows if you need it that much


sorry but I’ll be enjoying the bank holidays

One for each winter. Sensible.

Also: fuck Friday bank holidays. Mad idea.

think that’s Brighton

The Italians have got stereotypes of stylishness and emotional behaviour to uphold, so that’s what they do. We have shit stereotypes, so we’ll dig a big hole.

Digging is enjoyable you maniac.

very true :frowning:
So from now on, we’ll go somewhere that I want to go to on our Birthday.
Next year: tour of flanders!

MOndays are ballbags because Sunday just doesn’t feel right as celebration night. Friday BH’s mean the party* begins on Thursday. Oi oi!

*staying up slightly later and having two beers

seamus heaney first draft needed a major rewrite

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