* okay, it’s a fairly limited fantasy.

Here’s the scene. It’s lunchtime. You’ve been on a training course all morning, and you’re already starting to lose concentration because a few minutes ago THE TRAYS OF SANDWICHES AND OTHER LUNCHTIME FOODS have arrived. When it’s your turn in the queue, what are you going for?

You can always go back for seconds, but for now you have the following choices:

  • up to four mini sandwiches (i.e. a regular two-slice sandwich, cut into triangle quarters);
  • up to three additional items - these could be chicken bites, mini samosas, grilled halloumi, falafel… the sort of thing you’d find on a mid-range buffet.

(For those of you who require a gluten / wheat-free diet: please feel free to create your own lunchtime fantasy cold buffet, based on your own preferences).

So everyone, what’s your F.L.C.B.?

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The sandwiches four:

Prawn mayo (tory)
Egg & cress
Cheese and pickle
Cheese and onion

The items three:

Mini samosa
Mini quiche
Cocktail sossa

Cleary only ever go to low-range buffets by the sound of things. Never get these kind of options.

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Can’t believe that’s all you’re letting us have

Egg mayo
Cheese and pickle

Sausage roll x 3




I’m getting a couple of generic sandwiches and then I’m loading up on sausage roll and pork pie. A frankly unreasonable and unnerving amount of sausage roll and pork pie.

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four mini sandwiches is insane, but i’ll play your game:

2x smoked salmon and lemon
2x cheese and tomato

1x samosa
1x pork pie
1x sausage roll

what about crisps?

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cold buffet without ccb’s restrictions:

Big slab of gammon
Big hunk of bread
Sprinkling of crisps on the side
A quantity of pork pie and sausage roll
A choice from the indian plate - mini bhaji or samosa depending on what was on offer

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Buffet (hot or cold) format - best meal format:

  • Yep
  • nope

0 voters

Oh I should have said: there’s obviously cake and stuff for dessert. Fear not.

You can have seconds, fear not.

  • Peanut Butter (crunchy)
  • Ham and cheese
  • Tuna (no mayo)
  • Can I have bacon?

Three items:
mini pork pie
cocktail sausage rolls
cold chicken dipper type things


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sorry mate, what the fuck!!! THIS IS A COLD BUFFET

changing my options to 4x sausage and bacon sandwiches now we’re allowed hot food.

Cold bacon is a thing

nah, becomes ham when cold.


does it bollocks

I’m going:

  • some kind of chicken tikka / coronation chicken
  • prawn mayo
  • brie and tomato
  • cheddar, ham and pickle


  • chicken satay stick
  • onion bhaji
  • sausage roll

Bwah bwahhh bwahhhh