FAO Lady Dissers

I feel like flattering doesn’t always mean slimming - a colour might be flattering or unflattering for a specific person and that’s largely just about what colours go together (eg pale yellow doesn’t go with my skin colour). But it does seem right to think about when we say “this is unflattering on me” do we just mean “this makes me look fat” and challenge outselves on why that’s a bad thing.

Blurred: my confused thoughts on size, fatphobia etc

Size is such a difficult topic because I would never want for someone to feel that they need to lose weight to look better, but when it comes to myself I do feel that I look better thin and want to avoid putting weight on. And it’s hard to untangle how much of that is reasonable (nobody wants to have to replace all their clothes) and how much is internalised fatphobia.


Surely as sewers they should know that the “desirable” body shape has changed throughout history and is different in different places. 100 years ago everyone was trying to look flat chested with no hips

In my family ‘flattering’ 100% means ‘makes you look slimmer/hides your belly/etc’

My mum is absolutely obsessed with us (me and my 2 sisters) not wearing round necked t-shirts, if I ever video call her wearing a t-shirt I know she’ll make a comment about how unflattering they are. I don’t care mum! I am wearing it cos it’s comfortable, I’m not trying to impress anyone!


Re your blurred comment

I think a lot of us struggle with this and feel guilty about it. I know diets don’t work and I actively try to reject diet culture but I would be lying if I said I’m completely free of internalised fatphobia and am always happy with my body, I still have to battle the urge to restrict what I’m eating when I’m feeling down about how I look. The thing is I actually mostly do like my body now and I think I look great when I’m naked :sunglasses::face_with_hand_over_mouth: the main thing that triggers those sorts of thoughts are clothes. It’s easier to find clothes that fit me well and look good on me when I’m smaller. Also find it sort of funny/wtf that I spent over half my life hating my fat body but I definitely find myself more often attracted to curvy/chubby/fat women than the sort of slim bodytype I so desperately wanted to have


Curl update:

I started using a Davines curl gel which my hair dresser tried on me and it definitely works the best for me. I find I don’t need all the shampoo and special washes and shit, just wash as normal and put the gel in to create the curls. I love it now! I’m totally into it.

I also find that I like it a lot more when I brush it after washing and then scrunch it. It’s a bit too much when I don’t comb it.

I’m going to try wearing my hair natural to work tomorrow for the first time and people at work just love to comment on my appearance for some reason so :crossed_fingers:t2:


Oooh I might have to investigate

Do you still scrunch blow dry? Or can you leave it to dry naturally?

I currently air dry only cause I don’t have a diffuser on my hairdryer but gonna get one soon and try that out also

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Yeah, I don’t really do any routine anymore - just wash, and stick a load of mousse on it, brush and pulse if I want big fluffy hair or replace mousse with a strong gel if I want it to look a bit more defined or last longer.

I’ve never used davines gel but I use their oil and it’s lasted like 2 years with no sign of running out

I’ve had one compliment so far and one “what’s changed about your hair?” :joy:

Davines stuff seems to really last but it’s pricey. I use their shampoo and conditioner and I’ve got 3/4 of the conditioner still and it’s been well over a year as you really just need a small blob. I’ll have to look at their oil too.

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Thinking of bleaching my hair blonde…

This is a great idea, right? Would get my friend who is a former hairdresser to do it semi-pro style.

Is your hair still reddy in colour? It may take quite a few goes to get it proper blonde blonde.

This is the thing, and I’ve done it before so I am kind of aware that it’ll go orange and then blondey, and then roots. Maybe I’ll stick with my gingery brown :rofl:

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That’s why I get balayage! It blends the roots in so you don’t actually have to get it done as much. My hair is grey/blonde so can get away with having the blended out roots for like 6 months and it lightens up your hair a fair bit!

Ah it’s only hair :joy:

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Going for a blow dry today because I tried a new hair salon and you get a free blow dry within a month of your first cut

This may be a really silly question, but - do they wash your hair before a blowdry? I feel sure they must but can’t find any info online and I’ve never had just a blow dry before…

Yes they do wash, condition and then dry.

What a treat, enjoy it :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


Great, thanks :slightly_smiling_face:

Can anyone recommend a good exfoliating body scrub? One that smells good too

The Rituals Sakura one is gorgeous, and really lasts ages too.

I find body scrubs a bit underwhelming but I just used one from Lush called Orange that smelled really nice (orangey, unsurprisingly)

Why is finding nice eyeshadow palletes for green eyes so hard. Why do i have to have hooded lids? Why is make up so expensive and so much plastic?

Will just stick to a colour that doesn’t suit me as i dont know how to put make up on anyway :see_no_evil: