Fao lawnowners/managers

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Almost too long to cut it now. Might have to do it tomorrow night.

I asked a friend of mine who’s a landscape designer if he’d put one of those in for me last year. Turned out he didn’t have the thyme.

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Did you go for a tumbleweed lawn instead?

:smile: Pretty much.

Don’t really have anywhere to store a mower, so Reliable Martin does it. Feels like cheating but hey ho.

If someone had one of these I’d be checking the furnishings in their house to make sure they weren’t made of human body parts, tbh.

Bit weird.

Precisely my point.

Alright, here we go. Bit ragged after the first cut of the year, might remow this weekend:


It’s definitely worth getting into a good habit of mowing once a week. also if the weather is warm and dry to give the lawn a spray with the hose in the evening (evening is best because the water won’t evaporate away). literally just take the tips off each week so you shouldn’t be getting loads of clippings.

Yeah, sometimes get the old sprinkler out. Problem with ours is that it isn’t flat. Good grass coverage but loads of holes and undulations.

your urine has worked wonders

Thinking about hiring myself out.


I usually urinate just to the left of this shot if you are interested?

It’s astroturf out the back of our flats. Obviously not as good as grass, but saves on passive aggressive dramas happening between everyone.

My mum moved recently and first time I went round I immediately said ‘oh you have artificial grass’. She was devastated that I had spotted it so quickly. 1-0 Balonz (son of the year).

Just to clarify, are you still talking about lawn urination here?

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Ours doesn’t look real at all. Should have got it in purple or something.