Farts and burps


This thread is for talking about wind emitted from your body. I’m hoping it’ll be the thread that brings @inside-outside back.

Check out this New Scientist article on the subject: https://www.newscientist.com/article/2109040-these-are-the-foods-you-should-eat-if-you-want-less-smelly-farts/

You’re welcome @Epimer


That article is literally pointless.


Go eat a legume


Yesterday I was holding in a massive fart while walking through the open plan part of the office, and suddenly had to sneeze. It was terrifying.


The day after I had Stagg chilli from a tin from the first and last time, I did a series of silent farts on the upper deck of a double decker bus (the U1, Oxford DiSers) that were so offensively rank that the man sat behind me loudly proclaimed “for FUCK’S sake!” while standing up to open the window and I nearly ruptured something trying not to laugh.


Why didn’t you hold them in until you got off the bus?




At last the thread you have longed for.

Please keep these anecdotes coming


That’s precisely the sort of behaviour I’d expect from people who get that particular bus


Working with kids means I am around bodily gases far too much for my own liking. Children love a burp.


I once did a fart in a lift (it was just me, my friend and his dad in the lift, I’m not a monster) in a record store in Canada that was so disgusting that we saw a shop employee walking towards the lift with a cloth over his mouth and nose and a can of air freshener at arm’s length.

When we went back to get the lift ten minutes later it was marked out of order.


And now she (the lift) is a lesbian


On the same trip I did a fart in the back seat of the car that was so loud that the driver pulled over to investigate what had fallen off the car.


I once did a fart in bed that smelled so disgusting that my gf woke up, clawing at the air in front of her face.


Can we all suggest titles for Epimer’s fart biography that he needs to write

Epimer - A huge fart of the business world


Farts are well funny

Burps are a bit rank


Epimer: A Passing Wind


Epimer: Me, methane and I


Epimer: Top Trumps


Epimer: Farting is such sweet sorrow