Favourite put-downs


my mate luke (classic Luke) is extremely good at banter. If someone is having a rant about something going on in their job/life, he’ll wait until the end, look at his pint solemnly and simply say “didn’t ask.”

What are YOUR favourite put-downs? @Epimer take note as this could be gold for annoying your partner also.


Great thread


I had already considered the possibility of a put-down as reply, but it still hurt.


I don’t get it. Didn’t ask? Didn’t ask what?


about your problems.


Classic Luke!


He sounds nice.


“did ye, aye?”

  • Classic Luke
  • Bit rude

0 voters


don’t get rizla-skinned about it, it’s all in jest


Always enjoy the old classic when someone’s singing a song -

“Who sings that?”
“Madonna” (for example)
“Let’s keep it that way”


i will be stealing this thank you


I shall mute this thread. Can’t be doing with this.


thats a good one!


Once when me and group of friends was drinking in a park, some kids (about 15 years old or so), managed to grab a carrier bag if cans and run off. My mate chased after them and took the cans back and was saying ‘ye little shit’ etc.

One of the kids turned round and said to him ‘Why don’t you take your face for a shit?’

Giggle about this a lot.


:smiley: elegant, classy, concise <3


Was at a festival in Ireland a few weeks ago and there was this guy camping near us who was a bit of an arsehole, was trying to be all friendly with us while being really rude to his girlfriend. So as we was trying on some bants with us, one of our group (let’s say Jane) just goes to him out of nowhere

Jane: “here you, do you play cricket?”

Arsehole guy: “eh, no. why? what kind of question is that to ask someone?”

J: “ah it’s just… you look like someone who plays cricket.”

(everyone pissing themselves at this stage)

AG: “oh I see. you’re slagging me. haha. very funny.”

J: “ah no no no. I’m not slagging you. sure there’s nothing wrong with playing cricket. my brother plays cricket.”


J: “he’s a fucking bollocks as well”

(crowd goes wild)


On Halloween at uni when I answered the door to some trick or treaters I was greeted with “trick or treat! nice mask mate”.

I wasn’t wearing a mask.


I get “good story” thrown at me quite a lot :roll_eyes: I’m not the best tale weaver. Nothing will stop me tho.


i was at a festival a few weeks ago and described someone as a sack of shit, which sent my pals into hysterics for some reason. they then started talking about the logistics of a sack of shit, like someone has gone to the trouble of getting a sack and filling it with shit, a huge quantity of shit that someone has gone to the concerted effort of finding it all and collecting it, not just in a bag but a sack