Can I please ask what, erm, assistance (if any) was provided?
Potentially being too frivilous in here, if so, sorry.
I don’t really have anything constructive or supportive to say but it properly breaks my heart when I hear about people having fertility issues and struggling to conceive and imagining just how traumatic and awful it must be to go through
I wish you all well x
cw my experiences
Jimbo was an IVF baby. We were trying for ages and it just wasn’t working. First round worked, but the embryo had a heartbeat on the 8 week scan but not the 12 week. The overnight hospital stay for that to be, erm, dealt with was an incredibly sad and traumatic experience. Second round was even more anxious than first time round, but had a happy ending. About 18 months later my other half got pregnant again but that led to miscarriage (and a horrible night in A&E), and it was shortly after then that we were both resolved that Jimbo would be an only child.
Clicked like for sympathy/solidarity/sharing of experiences.
This bit is worth flagging. It really affected my other half’s social dynamics - frustration with our own situation compounded with how other people seemingly had it easy - certainly affecting her much much more than it affected me - more than I could personally comprehend when I was closer than any other person could be to the situation.
literally nothing, not even the wifi password
This sounds like such a difficult thing to deal with. Are you in contact with anyone who has had a similar experience and feelings? I wish I could say something that would help.
it’s good to share with Acorn
Blimey. For some reason, that really wasn’t what I was expecting.
plenty of wet wipes, if that does it for you
Much sympathy for you, and everyone else in this thread. We have a similar story, with the twist that our IVF was in Japan. We were pretty sure that there had been a miscarriage after the first go (bleeding etc) but when we made an emergency visit to the clinic, our usual doctor wasn’t available and we saw one who had very very limited English. I don’t think he really understood what we were saying, and he kept trying to indicate that my partner was pregnant (I guess based on a blood test that still showed the right chemicals?). So that all ended horribly inconclusively and we had to wait for a very strange week to see Dr Goto again who confirmed the miscarriage. Second time round it all worked out.
An aside to this is that after the birth we had another appointment to discuss what to do with the remaining frozen blastocysts. We were over there on our own, with no family to look after the baby for a few hours, so we had to take her in with us. I’ll always remember that there was a lady in the waiting room crying uncontrollably. She’d obviously had some bad fertility related news and there we were a few seats away (it was a very small room) with our newborn. Just about the shittiest I’ve ever felt in my life.
When we came back to the UK and the going through it again question came up, we decided to get a dog.
With regards to the last bit there I hate that the part of the hospital where you go when you’re miscarrying is the same ward where heavily pregnant women are there for check ups. I sat in the waiting room for 6 hours bleeding and had to sit with people who were well along in their pregnancy whilst it was the end of mine. I mean even a screen dividing the room would be better.
It’s so awful, and could be so easily avoided with a bit of thought. I wish you didn’t have to have gone through that, must have been dreadful. Big sympathetic thoughts going your way
seems like such a basic thing doesn’t it