Festive filth

Anyone find they get a bit more frisky in the festive season? I think I do, in normal circumstances. There are so many office xmas parties and general xmas parties that the opportunities are tenfold.

This year has robbed us of that opportunity quite frankly.

I’d come down santa’s chimney

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Don’t think I do actually you know. Generally more frisky in the summer.

Soz

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usually winter means longer time spent in bed because of not wanting to get up. which means more filth. so hooray for christmas!

1 xylo a-laying

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Not sure wanking to a screenshot of the colleague you secretly fancy technically counts as cyber sex

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both for me

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Great when you’re self-employed

i’ll bog you down in my technicalities

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virtually all of my liaisons have begun in autumn/winter, but nothing to do with Christmas.

that said, my first sexual experience happened the morning after a Christmas party (the party was on the day RATM became Christmas #1, and it snowed and so then-bf had to stay the night in the guest bedroom). vivid memory of him saying "tell me what you want me to do :smirk: :smirk: :smirk: " and I was like "errr I don’t know :woman_shrugging: " #teenagedream

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“Me”

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  • I have done a sex act at a work Christmas party
  • I have done a sex act directly after a work Christmas party
  • My colleagues are repulsive and the idea of touching them in a sexual way is as erotic as that recurring daydream Alan Partridge has about dancing on a stage in leather pants

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I’ve demonstrated incredible skill in the past for ending/ fucking up relationships before Christmas happens. Which is good cos it avoids having to get a present (not cos I’m tight but establishing appropriate present extravagance with a new person is stressful) but bad cos i miss out on the filth bit at Christmas

I like the idea of Christmas party hooking up but I can’t remember it ever actually happening

Can’t believe he got the lyrics so wrong tbh
:grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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My friend once dressed up as a sexy Mrs Clause to surprise her boyfriend at the time. She came out of the bedroom in the outfit and went to lean on the living room door frame cause he was sat in there, but missed and just fell over. Then they were doing it in doggy and the little pompom from the hat kept hitting her on the forehead and in her eye.

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look I’m sure he does perfectly well with what he’s packing, no need for name calling

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It’s only just struck me that we won’t have the slew of stories in Private Eye about newspapers’ Christmas parties this year.
Although given that one of my colleagues was - apparently - caught on security camera in the bike shed with a woman who definitely wasn’t his wife, and someone in The Sun shat in a bin after their party (pity the cleaner who found that), it’s probably for the best.
I miss the atmosphere of pubs in December, though.

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OH also I owned a Christmas thong, because of course I did, which was red with sequins on and had the white fluffy trim. As you can imagine, not the most comfortable of underwear cause it’s not meant to be worn for long. Anyway I had to wear it work once cause I hadn’t done any washing and not only was it the itchiest day of my life, but I bent over and it popped out of the top of my trousers and my colleague was like Kermit what the fuck and I was like heh yeah it’s festive right and he was like yeah but it’s june??

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Ladies Sexy Xmas oufits

  • A Very Merry Christmas
  • BAH humbug!

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Mens sexy Xmas outfit

  • Deck the halls (yes)
  • Awk yer baws (no)

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Work Christmas parties have been a stress more than anything else. Except for that year I worked for a vegan family’s firm and we went to an indian restaurant and everyone kept plying me, as one of the few non family workers, with lots of delicious vegan food

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