Fictional brand characters you most identify with


Spanish version of Mr Clean (Don Limpio) for me, clive.


Nathan Drake, naturally


They’re gonna taste great Frosties kid


Dolmio grandfather


Nihilistic meme toad


Juan Sheet


‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin


The workplace pensions monster.


Barry Scott, obviously


The tiny firemen who jump into your mouth/digestive system and hose down bacteria monsters


Actually went on a date with a girl who was part of the Cillit Bang marketing team. She was also a big Lionel Richie fan.

Married for 28 years now.


do you eat cereal off of a plate?


was your wedding officiated by Barry Scott?
did he say “BANG! AND THE SIN IS GONE!” when he finished marrying you to each other?


do you have a twin brother who suffers from a different malady to you but sometimes the same one so why even did they bother incorporating the phenomenon of twins in the first place?


More general optimism and enthusiasm around cereal


you’re quite a CHEERY(-oh) person then

har har har


Tony Tiger when that fucker used to sing Eye of the Tiger.



It was a humanist wedding

Barry wasn’t invited because of ‘the’ incident


what m&m are you?


would also love to know

which mcdonald’s character everyone is most like

Ronald McDonald
• primary icon of McDonald’s
• a clown with red hair and a big red smile
• wears a yellow suit and red shoes

• Ronald’s dog
• often speaks negatively in a monotone
• hates ticks
• has a conflict with Hamburglar
• called Hamburglar both “Bun-Head” and “Hammy” and was excited when he was going to space for 3,000 years.

• large, purple character
• a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil
• a gentle giant with movable eyebrows and eyelids, smile with a black mouth and a pink tongue
• formerly known as the “Evil Grimace”, depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and pops

• a pint-sized burglar
• primary object of theft was hamburgers
• unintelligible muttering
• loves burgers
• in 1985 his look changed from a trollish old man to a red-headed Dennis the Menace-type child who spoke, wore a shorter brimmed hat, and a black cape with yellow in the inside

Birdie the Early Bird
• a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf
• legs were orange
• a poor flyer and somewhat clumsy in general
• believed that aliens took her birdbath
• took karate lessons and is as good as her karate teacher

Fry Kids
• differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pom with legs and eye
• when they first appeared they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters’ French fries

Mayor McCheese
• an enormous cheeseburger
• a burger for a head
• giggly, bumbling, and somewhat incompetent mayor
• sports a top hat, a diplomat’s sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles

Officer Big Mac
• a large Big Mac for a head
• chief of police
• wore a constable uniform with a disproportionately small custodian helmet resting atop his head bun
• main source of law and order in McDonaldland

Captain Crook
• a pirate
• spent his time trying to steal Filet-O-Fish sandwiches
• used ships and waterways as means to escape being captured

The Professor
• bearded scientist-type character in a lab coat
• local inventor and researcher

  • a lightbulb-topped helmet

Uncle O’Grimacey
• green, Irish uncle of the character Grimace
• sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers
• carries a shillelagh
• not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun
• resides in his home country for eleven months of the year
• visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his “incredibly delicious” shake.

McNugget Buddies
• bunch of Chicken McNuggets
• large McNuggets with chicken beaks, chicken wings, and cowboy boots

• an alien who wore a large space suit
• talked like a surfer dude
• traded flowers in exchange for food
• left McDonaldland to inform his people about McDonald’s’ food

Trash Cans
• talking twin trash cans
• deposit garbage into them to feed them

Iam Hungry
• self-proclaimed “Vice President of Snacking”
• floating, fast-moving green fuzzball with orange arms and a monstrous face
• would constantly crave food
• would never stop pestering until he got fed [/quote]