Figurative bullets you have dodged

Was about to submit my self appraisal doc at work when I realised I’d answered a question with “nah m9”


Figurative bullet dodged


Colleague texted me from an airport the other week asking where the admin was because he couldn’t get hold of her and he needed a new flight to be booked.

I wrote a text to my gf saying “[colleague] is being such a fucking fanny. Missed his flight (because he’s a twat) and is now pestering me to track down the administrator to book him a new one because he’s too much of a useless cunt to do it himself”

Got distracted by something before I could send it, then looked back to see I’d written that in response to my colleague.

Figurative bullet dodged.