#9

I went with my then-TV to my first Michelin star restaurant for our anniversary. Amazing food, quite terrifying bill, then on the bus on the way home (from London to Oxford) started to feel funny. Got off the bus and realised I was about to shit myself, so RAN the 15-minute walk home, and made it to the toilet with around a half second to spare (I’m not exaggerating). Then spent the next 4 days in or within 4 seconds of the bathroom. Terrible.

#11

I’ve never had a bad food poisoning episode, but on a friday night at the student union we had one pint of their £1/pint lager, and all of us had to rush to throw up, only to find dozens of other students doing the same. We puked, walked upstairs and started on the bottled drinks.

#12

I read something recently that said when people complain about food poisoning at restaurants an hour or so after leaving, its more likely something they ate before going to the restaurant. something about bugs taking 9 or so hours to start working.

#13

I’m honestly thinking of just sticking to dry foods from now on. Been ill so many times off meat and fish and, idk, other wet shit. Might just stick to bread and crisps and crackers, etc.

#14

Spent 7 days shitting and puking in a nice hotel room in Bulgaria. Most sick I have ever been in my life. Mustered the energy to go for a walk in the woods on day 8 as wanted to experience some holiday, came across an old woman taking a shit on the public pathway in the woods about 15mins into walk. Won’t be hurrying back

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#15

probably had some line cleaner in the line.

#16

15 years old and went on holiday to Austria with the family. Was sharing a room (and toilet) with my brother. Hotel put on a traditional meat fondue evening and served the raw, bloody meat on the same plates as the salad and potatoes. Now obviously this is a stupid thing to do and obviously I know better now, but we ate everything. Sharing a toilet when you both have horrendous v & d is definitely not ideal. The hotel brought us anti-diarrhoea tablets and they were suppositories :thinking::-1:

Then there was the time a got ill at a conference in Edinburgh and lost 3 days of my life :nauseated_face:

#17

only had one incident tbh that involved a tesco pork pie. ended up with me trying to get to the loo at 2am but passed out on the way, smashing my head on the side of my desk in the process.

#18

Had an inevitable three-day bout when in India, unfortunately coincided with climbing a mountain, ended up shitting in the middle of a tea plantation, then again in some dude’s outdoor loo which was just a hole in the ground.

#19

Shat (into the toilet) while vomiting (into a bin) as well at one point. End of days stuff.

#20

Never had it. Cast iron stomach, apparently.

#21

If only I’d been as quick thinking, it would have saved me from a life of ridicule from my pals

#22

Oh, I shat the bed a little bit at one point, but my wife was very understanding

Sharing time with AphexTwinkletoes

#23

Got a dodgy tummy in India, was horrendous. Never known anything like it, was pooing explosively for a full two weeks after I got back. Night sweats were the worst though, just drenching the bed every night.

Went to the doctor and he gave me some stuff that helped a bit, and he also asked for a sample of my poo. When I asked about when I’d get the results of the poo test, he said “Oh no, you won’t get the results, this is just for my own interest.” Weird poo interest doctor

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#24

Ahh that makes sense. Maybe it was the michelin-starred kebab I had for breakfast that day…

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#25

Something like that, I guess. It was Fosters, so that would explain why we couldn’t tell from the taste.

#26

Passed out from a stomach complaint on Saturday afternoon. Went from wondering what to have for my tea to unconscious on the floor within three hours.

face
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I’m not so pretty now.

#27

the fuck

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#28

Was travelling around China and ate some dodgy food, the consequences of which first manifested themselves on an overnight train journey. Fun fact: most public toilets in China aren’t supplied with loo roll and I hadn’t got into the habit of carrying tissue around with me, as is standard.
Made it to the station at the end of the journey, did some truly explosive shitting and arrived at a hostel sometime in the early morning. Proceeded to climb a mountain (the one that the landscape in Transformers is based on) without any sleep, only for my belly to start thundering as we sloped around the tourist attractions - was also a national holiday in China and incredibly busy. Had to get off the main path and shit in the woods, in the pissing rain. Journey back down the mountain was via a huge lift, absolutely rammed and overcrowded, with my nerves and bowels absolutely frazzled by this point.
Real low point.

#29

… and I drank a cup of that tea yesterday