#17

only had one incident tbh that involved a tesco pork pie. ended up with me trying to get to the loo at 2am but passed out on the way, smashing my head on the side of my desk in the process.

#18

Had an inevitable three-day bout when in India, unfortunately coincided with climbing a mountain, ended up shitting in the middle of a tea plantation, then again in some dude’s outdoor loo which was just a hole in the ground.

#19

Shat (into the toilet) while vomiting (into a bin) as well at one point. End of days stuff.

#20

Never had it. Cast iron stomach, apparently.

#21

If only I’d been as quick thinking, it would have saved me from a life of ridicule from my pals

#22

Oh, I shat the bed a little bit at one point, but my wife was very understanding

Sharing time with AphexTwinkletoes

#23

Got a dodgy tummy in India, was horrendous. Never known anything like it, was pooing explosively for a full two weeks after I got back. Night sweats were the worst though, just drenching the bed every night.

Went to the doctor and he gave me some stuff that helped a bit, and he also asked for a sample of my poo. When I asked about when I’d get the results of the poo test, he said “Oh no, you won’t get the results, this is just for my own interest.” Weird poo interest doctor

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#24

Ahh that makes sense. Maybe it was the michelin-starred kebab I had for breakfast that day…

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#25

Something like that, I guess. It was Fosters, so that would explain why we couldn’t tell from the taste.

#26

Passed out from a stomach complaint on Saturday afternoon. Went from wondering what to have for my tea to unconscious on the floor within three hours.

face
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I’m not so pretty now.

#27

the fuck

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#28

Was travelling around China and ate some dodgy food, the consequences of which first manifested themselves on an overnight train journey. Fun fact: most public toilets in China aren’t supplied with loo roll and I hadn’t got into the habit of carrying tissue around with me, as is standard.
Made it to the station at the end of the journey, did some truly explosive shitting and arrived at a hostel sometime in the early morning. Proceeded to climb a mountain (the one that the landscape in Transformers is based on) without any sleep, only for my belly to start thundering as we sloped around the tourist attractions - was also a national holiday in China and incredibly busy. Had to get off the main path and shit in the woods, in the pissing rain. Journey back down the mountain was via a huge lift, absolutely rammed and overcrowded, with my nerves and bowels absolutely frazzled by this point.
Real low point.

#29

… and I drank a cup of that tea yesterday

#30

He was a nice old man, so I just assumed his interest in my poo was normal and above board and didn’t question it, it was only when I got home that I realised it was a bit odd

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#31

Never had proper food poisoning I don’t think. Had some dodgy catering at a beer festival about 7 years ago which caused a couple of days of the shits but nothing some Imodium didn’t put a stop to. Takes a while to get back to normal after taking some of that eh?

#32

Was working abroad for a few weeks at the end of last year/beginning of this one and came back for Christmas. On Boxing Day I went to a Patisserie Valerie and the place was a mess, they only had like two cakes left and the loo was a state. Can’t remember what I had but it had obviously been rammed in there all day so I reckon I got ill from cross-contamination because someone didn’t have time to wash their hands properly at some point.

Anyway I felt shit the next day but I had to get my flight back to Geneva. I tried to sleep on the plane but I felt really terrible and ended up being violently sick. I apologised to the guy next to me and said I got travel sick as I didn’t realise it was food poisoning at that point. I imagine I was responsible for at least a couple of outbreaks of norovirus at ski resorts after that. It was only a 15-minute walk to my accommodation from the airport and had to sit down twice before I made it there.

Had to call in sick until New Year’s Day and spent the whole time lying in bed watching Gilmore Girls and sitting on the loo holding a bowl in front of me. I didn’t know anyone in town so I had to drag myself to the local shop to get something I could shove in the oven/toaster (the flat didn’t even have a microwave ffs) even though I knew I’d see it again in 10 minutes.

Honestly one of the worst weeks of my life.

#33

Six days was my record. A colleague asked me why I was necking so much black coffee that week. “Oh, just a bit tired!”

#34

Major sympthay here. Had noro on a flight back from SF. Didn’t realise until I boarded and shit got real. Some of the worst 11 hours of my life…

#35

your shite’s going to be in a textbook

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#36

Just wished I’d been sick earlier and stayed home so someone could have looked after me. My supervisor probably thought I was skiving anyway.

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