#13

As I understand it, she worked with a bunch of animals and cleared up a lot of shit.

Then she quit the police and worked in a zoo.

7 Likes
#14

Well that’s allaying my embarassment somewhat. I’m sure I’ll still cringe when I see him next mind.

#15

Don’t encourage him!
I’d positively cringe my tits of if someone said that near me

1 Like
#16

No, i think she was zoo police.

1 Like
#17

Inspector @Saps has a lot to answer for.

3 Likes
#18

Also the time I was speaking to my downstairs neighbour, and she mentioned my upstairs neighbour and that he lived alone. I said, aha, no, I think it’s a couple, because it says so on the doorbell and also because I can, ahem, hear them most nights. Or rather, I can hear her.

She said, no, it used to be a couple (the names on the doorbell) but they moved out. It’s just him now.

I think we both realised at the same moment that I’d basically just said “I’ve heard you cumming”.

12 Likes
Filth on a Thursday
Thursday, the evening thereof
#19

Were you actually having sex at the time? That would make it less bad.

1 Like
#20

but they’re already locked up!

#21

I was with some friends recently who are a straight couple. They were telling me about a slightly eccentric friend of theirs and the guy was telling me about how she’s really unrealistic in the men she goes after, that they are mostly way out of her league. He decided to illustrate this further:

“You know, you have to be realistic, it’s like, if I was single I wouldn’t be aiming for Jessica Chastain or something…I’d…”

Suddenly realising that he had ventured out onto thin ice he turned to look at his wife who finished for him.

“Settle for me?”

11 Likes
#22

I think banging in front of minors would make things worse tbh.

#23

Oh yeah! Didnt read your post properly.

Anyway - good luck!

#24

I’m going to blur this as it’s a sensitive subject (CW: Suicide)

I started working somewhere where I quickly found out that a person who had worked there a few months prior had killed themselves. This happened after I’d answered the phone and was like “whos is X? Do they still work here?”. Uncomfortable in its own right. But a week or so later, we were all having bants about something else and I very loudly in a small office said something along the lines of “urgh i’d rather kill myself”. I still feel so terrible about it. I think I ran out of the room and cried a lot and probably went home.

3 Likes
#25

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#26

Best goddamn policewoman this zoo has ever seen.

4 Likes
#27

I think I do it more over a text medium.

I have in the past been out with a friend and sent a text to a boyfriend saying I was having a shit time and my mate was being annoying…only to send it to her. Awkward.

Also at our place of work people like to write stuff on other peoples computers when they’ve left it unlocked. My friend left his pc unlocked so I went on it and thought i’d create some top quality office bants and message a new girl at work to tell her that he had a mannequin of himself at home or something weird like that.
Except I got the name wrong and sent it to someone in France. :woman_shrugging:

6 Likes
#28

Sort of ruined my friends stag do surprise. I asked if they were excited about it before mimicking loading and firing a massive shot gun.

“Oh… so we’re going shooting?”

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

4 Likes
#29

:man_facepalming:

1 Like
#30

I’ve done worse. I wrote out one three times before deciding I didn’t want to post it on the off chance they somehow discovered it on here :grimacing:

3 Likes
#31

Incredible. Also, terrible. Although at 13 you couldn’t have conceived of the word’s baggage, right?

Oh my WORD. I feel … still racist, but better.

Mate :frowning: Also, the ‘sending the text to the person the text is about’ thing was something I thought had died out with the advent of smartphones. And good fucking riddance to it. Absolutely classic move.

My entire life is just one cycle of me doing something (physically or verbally) clumsy, pretending I’m OK with it, and then getting over it. Eventually.

#32

Oh yeah, your example here is completely harmless. Made me chuckle though :slight_smile:

1 Like