Foot-in-Mouth Disease

Yeah, this is bad mate. Really bad.

1 Like

Posted this before but… When I was 13 I thought yid was just a nickname for Spurs fans. We went on holiday with a jewish family to their villa. On the wall was a picture of one of their relatives in a Spurs shirt. I asked if he was a yid. The man turned round to me and said “yes he is jewish”. It then dawned on me.


I went to a yoga class recently and she read a poem which gave great advice for when stuff like this happens…

Stop, take a nice deep breath in, as you breath out feel yourself soften and make way for…imperfection :slight_smile:


All the time, got a really flappy mouth. Still cringe if I see my neighbour:


I think that’s sweet and funny


Shared this before but I need to repeat it as often as possible in penance.

My ex’s colleague at the zoo used to be a police officer. She stopped being a police officer after an incident where she was held hostage at gunpoint for 12 hours and the resulting PTSD. I had been made aware of this in advance.

She (and her police officer boyfriend) came round to our house for dinner. At some point in the conversation, I was talking about some unpleasant situation or something. To accompany this, I made the classic “finger gun to temple, pulls trigger” motion. I don’t think I had ever done that motion in at least a decade before then. I’ve definitely never done it since.

It happened in slow motion. I could see the bf’s eyes go wide, the shake of the head, the mouthing of “noooooooo”.

She pretended she hadn’t seen it. I have felt like a prize cunt ever since.


Not sure a big self-satisfied sigh is what people want from you when you’ve just blurted out something racist (like the OP did).


I think he should forgive himself

Not sure why, but struggling to process this sentence.




As I understand it, she worked with a bunch of animals and cleared up a lot of shit.

Then she quit the police and worked in a zoo.


Well that’s allaying my embarassment somewhat. I’m sure I’ll still cringe when I see him next mind.

Don’t encourage him!
I’d positively cringe my tits of if someone said that near me

1 Like

No, i think she was zoo police.

1 Like

Inspector @Saps has a lot to answer for.


Also the time I was speaking to my downstairs neighbour, and she mentioned my upstairs neighbour and that he lived alone. I said, aha, no, I think it’s a couple, because it says so on the doorbell and also because I can, ahem, hear them most nights. Or rather, I can hear her.

She said, no, it used to be a couple (the names on the doorbell) but they moved out. It’s just him now.

I think we both realised at the same moment that I’d basically just said “I’ve heard you cumming”.


Were you actually having sex at the time? That would make it less bad.

1 Like

but they’re already locked up!

I was with some friends recently who are a straight couple. They were telling me about a slightly eccentric friend of theirs and the guy was telling me about how she’s really unrealistic in the men she goes after, that they are mostly way out of her league. He decided to illustrate this further:

“You know, you have to be realistic, it’s like, if I was single I wouldn’t be aiming for Jessica Chastain or something…I’d…”

Suddenly realising that he had ventured out onto thin ice he turned to look at his wife who finished for him.

“Settle for me?”


I think banging in front of minors would make things worse tbh.