Starting with the heavy hitters we have crystal palace signing Patrick Van Aanholt, and may be getting Martin Cacceres on a free transfer. Big Sam hasn’t give up on Carl Jenkinson signing for the club, unlike the rest of us who have given up on Jenkinson being a decent premier league player.
Speaking of managers who increasingly seem out of touch, and in a desperate bid to remember when his managerial career was on the up we have Moyes signing Everton players including Darren Gibson and Bryan Oviedo. I remember Oviedo being quite well liked a few seasons ago, but most Everton fans seem to want to get rid now?
Time for the teams and the Manchester Clubs/Liverpool/Spurs seem to be doing fuck all. Arsenal should probably be doing something but they’re pretty happy to leave things as they are… only thing I’ve seen is that Chuba Akpom will be going on loan to Championship. Chelsea trying again to sign the Celtic keeper, and it’s reasonable to assume if that happens Begovic will get his wig ready in what would be a pretty great move for Bournemouth I reckon. Ivanovic set to leave and all.
Time for the big Championship clubs and Aston Villa are involved with too much stuff for me to bother with. In short: final push for Jordan Rhodes while also making a swap with Swansea. Jordan Ayew for Neil Taylor.
Seems like another player potentially leaving Middlesbrough will be Gaston Ramirez to Leicester, which just seems bizarre to me. Then again hes seemed like quite a toxic person and inconsistent player imo. Thought he was awful for Hull but was pretty good in the Championship, so it might actually be quite a good forward thinking move for Leicester.
Speaking of Hull (not a selling club!) - we’re apparently close to selling Andrew Robertson to Burnley. Leaving the only recognised left back as 17 year old Josh Tymon. Not a single pound of the Livermore/Snodgrass money has been spent, and there’s only a day and a half of transfers to go…
Burnley also set to sign Robbie Brady from Norwich, seemingly unaware he’s had a pretty disappointing season by his standards.
And lastly, but finally - Payet has fucked off back to France. total dickhead, and has helped to send the message out that players can force through moves and get what they want without any kind of negative consequence for them.
Let’s get this over with you shithouses.