Football: Your club's mid-season report

He did, but I think Malmo were in the second division that season, so the level he played at was a lot lower.

I thought he had already moved to Ajax by then, but I suppose that’s in the dutch league so it barely counts

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He joined Ajax aged 19. Initially he didn’t play much, but when manager Adriaanse was sacked, and Koeman replaced him, he became a regular. He was 20 by that time.

Huddersfield went up against Villa in the final in the first season of my current playthrough, Brighton and QPR (!) were the other teams involved. Newcastle and Norwich (!) went up automatically.

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Liverpool

REALISTIC TARGETS PRE-SEASON: Top 4

REALISTIC TARGETS NOW: Top 4

STANDOUT PERFORMERS: Firmino, Coutinho, Mane, Milner, Matip

NEED TO SIGN THIS MONTH: Experienced defender, hard working pacy striker

NEED TO BIN: Sakho, Bogdan (sale instead of loan)

MANAGER RATING: 9/10

OVERALL: Obviously disappointed that our first win of 2017 was a hard fought replay at Plymouth Argyle, and we have some injuries that are really going to cause some problems - and since our early good performances I have been disappointed about fading away and think already Chelsea have basically won the title. That said, if you told me we’d be where we are now in August I would have taken it, and think as long as we pick back up and manage the loss of Mane for the time being and the injuries we have well enough, we can realistically end up top 3, which would be great.

Just a shame as I think next year Utd and City especially will be quicker out of the blocks and we won’t have that advantage, add in the fact that again we’ll have the extra games of the CL (hopefully) this year was quite likely our best chance at a top finish with our current squad.

No - he used to be involved and may still have a small stake but I think he’s throwing all his money at Eastleigh now.

Our current chairman is Darryl Eales - he’s worked absolute wonders but I think he’s getting frustrated about the stadium situation, and there’s been a weird thing with fans recently questioning his loyalty to the club (despite the fact he’s thrown in over £8m of his own cash).

Some good points raised above about the Rooney/Zlatan comparisons. Obviously it’s a mix of several factors - biology, culture, background, diet, lifestyle, mentality, strength of leagues at certain points, style of play, etc, etc, but they’re both twats so fuck the pair of 'em.

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Ah that’s what made me wonder. He’s always at Eastleigh (my nearest club) and knew he had some OU connection. Seems a decent bloke.

Yeah he’s a good guy. I think he has a 10% stake in Oxford or something and has always been really approachable, but I know that his involvement with Eastleigh stops him having too much involvement at OUFC.

You’ve got a couple of ex-Oxford players…James Constable and Ryan Clarke. Always loved them both.

Phil Browns Barmy Army

REALISTIC TARGETS PRE-SEASON: Playoffs? Top half

REALISTIC TARGETS NOW: Playoffs

STANDOUT PERFORMERS: A. Ferdinand, Simon Cox, Ryan Leonard, Stephen McLaughlin

NEED TO SIGN THIS MONTH: Just signed Frank Nouble who should support Cox ok. Think our squad is pretty solid and set

NEED TO BIN: Phil Brown has an infactuation with right backs and we have three decent quality options. The worst one (John White) is also our club captain and doesn’t make the team so he could probably go, but by all accounts he’s a good egg. Nile Ranger has apparently failed a drugs test, so get rid (sadly, he was playing well).

MANAGER RATING: 8/10 - His signings have generally been good this season, and getting Simon Cox in is a great coup for L1. The players work hard for him, but I think he struggles to really get us firing in an attacking sense (we’re typically pretty solid in defence).

OVERALL: 8/10. Looking good so far in a tough and competitive league. Fingers crossed we can get some good results in the next couple of weeks against tough competition (Bolton, Fleetwood) which can fire us into the playoffs and give us a decent run to the end of the season.

Wayne Rooney appearances (according to wikipedia): 586
Zlatan: 631

So that’s about 2/3 of a English season.

Appearances =/= full games, obviously.

I think Constable, who was captain, has just gone to Bristol Rovers. Was in the stands for the Brentford FA Cup game with the fans, good lad.

Rooney: 622
Zlatan: 706

2ish seasons

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¯_(ツ)_/¯

WATFORD FC

REALISTIC TARGETS PRE-SEASON: Mid-table finish

REALISTIC TARGETS NOW: do not get relegated

STANDOUT PERFORMERS: probably Comes or Capoue

NEED TO SIGN THIS MONTH: shit I dunno, someone good?

NEED TO BIN: Ighalo - based on his solid Deeny Partnership & general performance up until this point last year he’s getting regular inclusion in the squad despite offering NOT A LOT anymore. I know we have much worse players, but he stands out a lot

MANAGER RATING: tricky to say, we’ve had so many that I try not to get attached. He came in all cocky and arrogant & is not getting results so…in the bin?

OVERALL: I am sad

Agree with all except binning Cesc

Has stepped up at some important times this season and in games we have lost he has hardly played any minutes

Never going to be as solid defensively but just feel safe he will create something when games are drifting.

Bin: Brana. Big part of our recent history but was time to move on last season

Comes is Gomes but autocorrect and I missed the chance to edit. Sorrrry

Sorry gone a bit Butch Wilkins with the first names here

REALISTIC TARGETS PRE-SEASON:

Clear the dead wood and adjust to life in the Champo by surviving successive relegations, potentially a play off push

REALISTIC TARGETS NOW:

Much the same really. Looks like we’re going to finish midtable, hopefully can mount a play offs charge but we’ve been poor recently

STANDOUT PERFORMERS:

James Chester, Jordan Amavi, Jonathan (old) Kodjia

NEED TO SIGN THIS MONTH:

A decent centre midfield, a right back and a back up left back now Cissokho’s gone

NEED TO BIN:

Kozak, Agbonlahor (won’t happen), Micah Richards, one of Westwood or Gardner

MANAGER RATING:

7.5/10 - done well to steady the ship and knows the league. Performances ahvent been great but there’s the feeling that he’s still trying to mould the squad which is fair enough

OVERALL:

6/10 season

Huddersfield Town

REALISTIC TARGETS PRE-SEASON:
Avoid a relegation battle and be comfortably midtable

REALISTIC TARGETS NOW:
Playoffs

STANDOUT PERFORMERS:
Could name most of the team, but Aaron Mooy probably stand out

NEED TO SIGN THIS MONTH:
A new striker to help Nahki Wells

NEED TO BIN:
Don’t think we need to shift anyone

MANAGER RATING:
10/10. David Wagner, he’s better than Klopp

OVERALL:
Fairly well documented that we’ve massively overachieved so far this season. A playoff spot would be a fantastic achievement if we stay there.