It’s alright lads, we’re signing a defender who’s started about forty games in three years. Season SAVED!

Feghouli sent off to gift Big Red three points, reprieved to be the inevitable match-winner. (SHAKES FIST).

Zabaleta in the Fernandinho role, and the celebrated Otamendi/Stones/Canyonero axis. Given we’re throwing it I wish Pep wasn’t knackering out so many of our forward line, De Bruyne in particular is in desparate need of a break.

Zabaleta is playing CB there isn’t he? Plus it’s yer last game til next weekend.

#The Mega Chinese Super League Pick A Club Post!

16 clubs, enough to go round. Looks like the season kicks-off 1st weekend in March.

#Beijing Guoan

“The Imperial Guards” won the CSL for the only time in their history back in 2009, but have finished runners-up three times, most recently in 2014. Local rivals are Tianjin Teda, but Shanghai Shenhua form their main traditional/competitive rivalry. Big name player: Renato Augusto. Finished 5th last year.

#Changchun Yatai

Utterly unremarkable club who finished 12th last season. Peaked in 2007 when they took second spot.

#Chongqing Lifan

Literally have no notes on them, other than they finished 8th last year. Oh, look, they won the Chinese FA Cup back in 2000 then the Super Cup the same year. Youngsters won that Adidas Youth League thing in 2009. Thanks, Google! It gets better, trust me.

#Guangzhou Evergrande Taobao

Last season’s champions, sealing an unprecedented sixth successive CSL title. Also the only Chinese side to lift the Asian Champions League twice (in 2013, and 2015). Big Phil Scolari takes the reins, and the side features Paulinho and Jackson Martinez in the squad.

#Guangzhou R&F

The Blue Lions are very much the Fulham to Evergande’s Chelsea, finishing 6th last season and 24 points behind their city rivals. Dragan Stojkovic is the boss, and two players you may have heard of in the squad are Gustav Svensson and Eran Zahavi. Nope, me neither.

#Guizhou Hengfeng Zhicheng

Promoted to the CSL for the first time in their history after finishing 2nd in League One in 2016. So that’s nice.

#Hebei China Fortune

The Samba Kings finished 7th last season under Manuel Pellegrini in their first season in the top-flight. Gervinho is the top dog, but the squad also features Ezequiel Lavezzi, Stéphane Mbia, and former-Chelsea perma-loaned winger Gaël Kakuta.

#Henan Jianye

Heard of Ryan McGowan or Osman Sow? Me neither. But they’ve played elsewhere. Finished 13th last term, came third in 2009 before relegation and bounce-back promotion in 2013. Got nothing else, sorry.

#Jiangsu Suning

Last year’s runners-up matched their previous best ever position (in 2012), finishing just seven points behind the champions. Based near to Shanghai, the two CSL clubs in that city form their local rivals. Ramires is the star attraction, but don’t overlook the fabulously-named Trent Sainsbury, he of 21 Australia caps.

#Liaoning Whowin

Whowin? More often than not, it isn’t the “Northeast Tigers”, whose just 9 victories in 30 games last season saw them finish 11th. The club has pedigree though, as the first-ever Chinese winners of the Asian Champions League (1990), and they also made the final the following season. Anthony Ujah plies his trade here, as does Dario Vidosic. Veteran Zambian striker James Chamanga (17 goals in 58 caps) is also here, and some of you will pretend to know who he is.

#Shandong Luneng Taishan

Scraped to survival last season finishing 14th and two points above the drop, with a 4-1 win Hangzhou Greentown condemning their relegation rivals to League One. “Team Mount Tai” are under-performing of late, having won the CSL in 2006, 2008, and 2010 and finished as runners-up back in 2004 and most recently 2013. Dangermouse’s sidekick Felix Magath is at the helm, and he can call upon the experience of Diego Tardelli, Graziano Pellè, Papiss Cissé to improve their form in 2017.

#Shanghai Greenland Shenhua

Gus Poyet’s side - known as “The Flower of Shanghai” - are yet to claim a CSL title having been stripped of the honour back in 2003 for a reason I didn’t bother researching. Three-times runners-up midway through the last decade, most recently in 2008. Won the Arsenal Trophy last season, scraping into the AFC Champions League qualifiers by finishing fourth. Check this lot out for potential goals in 2017: Carlos Tevez, Demba Ba, Obafemi Martins. Bonkers.

#Shanghai SIPG

AVB’s “Red Eagles” finished 3rd last season, slipping from a runners-up position in 2015 under Sven. Just signed Oscar for something like £1,000 per second. Hulk - the fella whose “it’s you or me” standoff with Sven saw the former England boss fall on his sword - is still there.

#Tianjin Quanjian

Last season’s second-tier champions are all-set for their first season in the CSL having been promoted under the guidance of Fabio Cannavaro. Just signed Axel Witsel.

#Tianjin Teda

Ever-present in the CSL, the Tigers finished 10th last season, with a best-ever finish of runners-up back in 2010. 1980s Portuguese midfielder Jaime Pacheco is the boss, and they’ve just signed John Obi Mikel. Fredy Montero and Nemanja Gudelj also pick up a cheque at the Olympic Centre Stadium.

#Yanbian Funde

It’s not that they’re alphabetically last in the list and I’m a trifled bored by now, it’s just that the club seems utterly unremarkable. Finished 9th last year in their first season in the CSL after winning League One in 2015. Took top-tier honours back in 1965 though.

GO ON THEN, PICK YOUR CLUB.

  • Beijing Guoan
  • Changchun Yatai
  • Chongqing Lifan
  • Guangzhou Evergrande Taobao
  • Guangzhou R&F
  • Guizhou Hengfeng Zhicheng
  • Hebei China Fortune
  • Henan Jianye
  • Jiangsu Suning
  • Liaoning Whowin
  • Shandong Luneng Taishan
  • Shanghai Greenland Shenhua
  • Shanghai SIPG
  • Tianjin Quanjian
  • Tianjin Teda
  • Yanbian Funde

0 voters

9 Likes

Was 50/50 on watching vs depending on whether Jesus or some other exciting players were in the squad for either team so obviously gonna give this a miss now. Reckon Carroll could bang one or two in but City should beat em

Top, top posting. Guangzhou R&F for me.

1 Like

Perhaps we should do this with Scottish football as well?

I’ll go with Fortune purely because of Kakuta. If I can severed799 it I’ll have however Magath was managing as my second team.

I’m sure we’re all aware that tonight’s main game is Hibs vs Dundee United (live on BBC Alba, 7:45pm kick-off).

One point separates them at the top of the Championship, playing at a packed Easter Road. Football!

English comms or are they all talking pissed?

There’ll be the occasional word in English, but mainly Gaelic.

going to have to base this is purely on strength of badge/shirt.

Guangzhou Evergrande win points for ‘be the best forever’ and some kind of fire panther?

Shandong Luneng’s shirt is good, but a bit too netherlands-y

But think I might have to go with Shanghai SIPG for the no sponsor/striped shirt combo + an eagle

How’s this working, bretherin?

Big fan of Yanbian Funde’s shirt just hung up after a wash.

Oh they’ve all got sponsors (almost exclusively Chinese characters presumably forming a company’s name) from what I found. Just the clearest images didn’t have them on. Dunno if they’re sold without sponsors logos on.

Dunno, just none of support a CSL club so we all should cos that’s where the big money big bants is to be had now. :grin:

Might have been from eBay. I’d lost the plot by that point.

Sure. I meant are we all sticking to a team properly like, and how’s it going to work where more than one person’s picked the same team? I’m up for some MAJA CSL BANTA.

More than one person supports United on here! Just wade in and call each other shit and make big ol’ preddos about how your rivals are gonna win while your team lose or whatever usually goes on, just with a Chinese bent cos presumably none of us know anything. Don’t forget to update the spreadsheet though.

I’m going for Greenland, that badge looks COOL.

BOO AT @WASTED. Youuuuuuuuuu’re not singing anymoreeeeeeeee, shit ground no fans! shit gound no fans!

Liaoning Whowin for me Clive. Whowin? WEWIN!

2 Likes