You seem like a person who cares deeply about others, that can be hard and exhausting especially when you know the world is not in a good place, there’s always guilt to be had. Do you think that has anything to do with it?
Is your work/personal life out of whack? Maybe you need some more time to give to yourself or maybe more time for others?
It’s always sad to see someone so intelligent and driven say things like you’ve just posted, my heart goes out to you.
I think I’ve pretty much given up on my life, I just drink all the time now and wait for death. Don’t be like me, you have much to give and to be happy for!