Winner
“I keep randomly shouting out ‘Broccoli’ and ‘Cauliflower’ - I think I might have florets” - Olaf Falafel
Runners up
“Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they’re happy” - Richard Stott
“What’s driving Brexit? From here it looks like it’s probably the Duke of Edinburgh” - Milton Jones
“A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, ‘Yes, of course. - That’s 20 cows’” - Jake Lambert
“A thesaurus is great. There’s no other word for it” - Ross Smith
“Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It’s the reason I get up in the morning” - Ross Smith
“I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I’m really struggling to get out of it” - Adele Cliff
"After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford
“To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian” - Mark Simmons
“I’ve got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad’s contacts” - Ivo Graham
Great stuff hey?
2 Likes
AQOS
19 August 2019 07:27
2
anon3515918:
“I keep randomly shouting out ‘Broccoli’ and ‘Cauliflower’ - I think I might have florets” - Olaf Falafel (nah)
“Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they’re happy” - Richard Stott (hmm)
“What’s driving Brexit? From here it looks like it’s probably the Duke of Edinburgh” - Milton Jones (fine)
“A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, ‘Yes, of course. - That’s 20 cows’” - Jake Lambert (is it 1974)
“A thesaurus is great. There’s no other word for it” - Ross Smith (is it 1974)
“Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It’s the reason I get up in the morning” - Ross Smith (shite)
“I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I’m really struggling to get out of it” - Adele Cliff (hmm)
"After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford (fine)
“To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian” - Mark Simmons (that’s alright)
“I’ve got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad’s contacts” - Ivo Graham (that’s alright)
Jokes aren’t funny any more
7 Likes
Well, that’s my time at the Fringe this week sorted.
I’m just staying home because I hate comedy
2 Likes
Better than the last bunch of supposed best of fringe jokes
9 Likes
TKC
19 August 2019 07:46
7
Ivo Graham is the best one.
The rest you could probably make up in primary school
1 Like
That winner is the worst one of the bunch, what were they thinking?
5 Likes
Broadly agree with this. Might mark the florets one up slightly
1 Like
The cows one is probably the best, followed by the sleep one
2 Likes
harru
19 August 2019 07:58
12
Some of them aren’t bad, the winner is the worst one.
I like the cowboy one and thesaurus.
Cows One is good but it’s also the only one I’ve definitely heard before.
1 Like
Raging that I didn’t think of that first
something about mad (as in angry in this context) cow disease
don’t judge me, I’m making these up on the hoof
1 Like
Epimer
19 August 2019 08:06
16
Quite like antidepressants, escapology and semaphore.
Florets is barely a joke.
Eton advent calendar is tortured heavy handed satire.
Thesaurus is dreadful.
1 Like
That vegetable joke is fucking woeful
5 Likes
Niche start to a tinder bio
14 Likes
Epimer
19 August 2019 08:10
20
You can see the cogs turning, can’t you? He’s doing his shopping, notices that florets sounds a bit like tourettes, jots it down in his jokes notebook for later, little self-satisfied smirk playing at the edges of his lips.
5 Likes
Lesson: if the hive mind of DiS came up with a comedy routine, we’d trounce these.
(Actually quite like a couple of those)
Epimer
19 August 2019 08:18
23
Genuinely think this
Is a full tier funnier than anything in this list.
11 Likes
It’s almost as though reading a list of jokes reduces the humour and impact.
1 Like