Working at the jobcentre has to be a tense job – knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day. Adam Rowe
I had a job drilling holes for water – it was well boring. Leo Kearse
I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don’t pay it back, I’m going to get repossessed. Olaf Falafel
In my last relationship I hated being treated like a piece of meat. She was a vegan and refused to touch me. Daniel Audritt
What do colour-blind people do when they are told to eat their greens? Flo & Joan
I’ve got a new job collecting all the jumpers left in the park at the weekends, but it’s not easy. They keep moving the goalposts. Darren Walsh
Trump said he’d build a wall but he hasn’t even picked up a brick. He’s just another middle-aged man failing on a DIY project. Justin Moorhouse
8=) I lost a friend after we had an argument about the Tardis. I thought it was a little thing, but it seemed much bigger once we got into it. Adele Cliff
8=) Why are they calling it Brexit and not The Great British Break Off? Alex Edelman
- I think love is like central heating. You turn it on before guests arrive and pretend it’s like this all the time. Laura Lexx
Quite like 1, 2, 3, 6 and 8.
The rest are poor. 7 barely qualifies as a joke.
I like the 10th one, the rest can get in a fucking bin.
No, it’s actually bad on accounts of how the premise is both weak and revealing of the punchline.
Irks me that they called him middle aged, which seems to assume he’ll live to be 142.
None of them as good as:
Astronaut 1: Hi mate, I can’t find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
Guess it depends whether these are one liners or within the context of a wider act?
All bad. As already confirmed.
I would have ‘liked’ the joke if someone had posted it in the jokes workshop thread
- Marckee option
3 is a stolen Lee Mack joke
5 & 7 are rubbish
The 8s are middling
The others are all solid gags that were probably even funnier with good delivery.
You must be a right joyless taskmaster fan to not like any of these.
Scott Aukerman has a much funnier version of 3
8.2 is one of the standard twitter joke formats and therfore I can’t like it
None of them even made me smile obviously
Even fucking Elon musk has made 2. Elon Musk!
You shouldnt ever be allowed to work as a comedian again if you’re doing jokes Elon Musk has made
I work in the water/hydrogeology sector, this joke has been around for years. It’s a good one liner, I went through a phase of saying it to people when explaining what I do for work.
That Justin Moorhouse one is shite
jokes and comedy are stupid