Gets stuck on hold to TalkTalk. But like, for fucking ages.
Superman, being impervious to pain, falls asleep for hours in the sun and is incredibly pink for four issues
Nips round to the call centre itself where they make him stay on his phone, in the queue. Don’t even get him a chair.
Superman accidentally tweets the word ‘covefefe’ and then decides to destroy the planet.
What about if he was doing a forward roll and his trousers split at the point where his arse was in the air and he had those white boxers with hearts on them on.
I hear you’re a racist now, Superman
Clark Kent keeps breaking office stationery and equipment due to his strength (due to him being Superman). One woman absolutely lays into him, so he throws her at Portsmouth.
Any of these:
superman accidentally gets added to an email chain between lois, jimmy & perry about how they all know he’s clark and they’ve been taking the piss out of his shitty disguise for years
Clark Kent is at the work christmas do and declines to join in when the DJ plays Black Lace’s ‘Superman’. Jimmy Olsen calls him a ‘square.’
Clark Kent is walking to work in the rain, and there’s a huge puddle across the pavement. In order to protect his secret identity, he has to walk through the puddle and spends the whole day with wet socks.
Starts trying to incorporate a fedora/trilby into his wardrobe
The x-ray department at Superman’s local NHS hospital has been hacked so he rocks up and starts diagnosing everyone, ‘yeah broken leg, NEXT… fractured rib pal, NEXT…’
he’s staring at this bizarre madame tussauds’ waxwork of david walliams whilst eating a sandwich very slowly
Superman uses his heat vision to warm up his gazpacho soup. The twat.
Or watches The Royal Tenenbaums once and starts wearing a sweatband round his head like that tennis guy in it.
That’s enough tbf
Sueprman gets really into Netrunner over the summer.