#61

Can’t find the end of the sellotape, Christmas Eve.

1 Like
#62

Superman still has a subscription to Which? magazine, despite fitting out the Fortress of Solitude in white goods years ago.

4 Likes
#63

He keeps having to destroy satellites that broadcast E4 so he doesn’t have to watch the big bang theory with Lois anymore

#64

Goes to wrestling shows and chants about how awesome he is

2 Likes
#65

What about if he takes up parkour but isn’t as good at it as the teens he’s trying to impress

4 Likes
#66

“hey man you’re just flyin-”
“NO. NO. Now watch this awesome flip…”

1 Like
#67

Tries to blag his way through eating an artichoke.

#68

*zesting a lemon

1 Like
#69

Superman employs funk dancing as his primary mode of attack/defence to make things a bit more interesting.

#70

Big victory photo opportunity with the Mayor and he’s got a fucking bogey halfway down his face

3 Likes
#71

Get’s a tickly throat during a memorial for the victims of the latest Lex Luthor thing, tries as hard as he can not to cough but ends up doing that really fucking weird half-cough/half-choke/half-spit thing really loudly just as the widow starts weeping

#72

Superman uses his superspeed to eat an icecream quickly, and gets brainfreeze.

#73

Then his phone goes off and his tone is his own theme tune

6 Likes
#74

Writes a strongly worded email to Sir Philip Green for inflammatory use of the Superman symbol on a t-shirt that he spotted in a Topshop window. Specifically underlines the word ‘man’ in Superman and hints that he would like to design a range of clothing for use in Sir Philip’s Topman stores.

1 Like
#75

Superman takes his nephews to McDonald’s. The boys open their straws in the standard fashion, but true to form, Superman unleashes an amusing trick. He tears a small amount from the end of the paper, then grasping the straw (but making sure to leave the paper free), he blows into the end of his plastic tube. The paper is ejected like a lightweight bullet across the busy restaurant, causing his nephews to erupt with laughter.

Four die.

17 Likes
#76

putting blue pants on and therefore creating an outfit clash

1 Like
#77

Carrying a massive, well decorated cake down a staircase and having to keep peering round the upper tiers to see where he’s going

1 Like
#78

Someone makes the ‘emotional day’ joke and he doesn’t get it until about half an hour later.

3 Likes
#79

appears on the one show and keeps calling alex jones ‘christine’

7 Likes
#80

gets grilled by krishnan guru murthy on channel 4 over some civilian deaths, and keeps calling him ‘Mr Murphy’.

2 Likes