Gawrsh.com

For the last week or so, I’ve been getting spam from Gawrsh.com, I seem to have been added to their daily mailing list. Here’s an example of today’s email:

Cobbled Streets of Europe

Gawrsh, did you know that the cobbled streets of Europe are so old, they’ve seen more history than a high school textbook? Hyuck, it’s true! In fact, some of these streets are so ancient, they were laid down before the invention of the wheel. Now, that’s what I call being ahead of your time! And here’s a knee-slapper for ya: Why don’t cobbled streets ever get lost? Because they always stick to their roots! Now, let’s talk about the famous Appian Way in Rome. Gawrsh, it’s so old, when it was built, the Romans were still using Roman numerals! Hyuck! And here’s a fun fact: the stones used in these cobbled streets are so tough, they make diamonds look like marshmallows. Speaking of tough, here’s a joke for ya: Why did the cobblestone go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little “rundown”! Hyuck, get it? Rundown, because it’s a road! Oh, I crack myself up!

Gawrsh and Hyuck-tastic regards,

  • The Gawrsh Team

I don’t know what it is, who added me or even why it fucking exists. All of the emails are like this, written in a Goofy tone but basically saying nothing at all. I tried following the unsubscribe link, but when you try to unsubscribe it doesn’t do anything:

The site itself has nothing on it except a means to subscribe to the mailing list, and a way to donate to their site(!)

I don’t usually engage with spam, but find this one fascinating. Why?

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Part of me suspects this is one of you on the wind up.

They even anonymised their webmaster details.

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Clearly you have made this up yourself. Good gag, but a lot of work just for this thread.

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Aren’t they called Lordi?

I understand why you would think that, but it really isn’t.

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goofy is a cow

Similar to @ma0sm I’ve checked out the whois history for the domain. Whoever the current (anonymous) owner is, they registered it from the UK in October and paid $1000 for the privilege, so it certainly seems like more than just a private windup.

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Fuck me, and that’s the cheapest price it’s sold for so far!

ive just donated 3 dollars to your site that you definitely didnt make

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The first owner, James Hawkins from adaptinc, comes from a now-defunct affiliate marketing site with this on its homepage:

The Florida corporation Adapt, Inc. has been dissolved.

Founded in 1998 by James Hawkins, Miami, Florida based Adapt, Inc. was an early and quietly active leader in affiliate marketing and pay-per-click arbitrage. At its peak, Adapt had over 150 sites with more than a million pages of content in total that, if considered as a group, had aggregate traffic ranking in the top 25 of all sites, and was a leading affiliate partner of numerous online retailers. Over the years, Adapt engaged in thematic publishing, with several thousand articles published within a dozen sites, developed mobile sports apps “JockSpin” and “SpeedNeed” for iOS and Android that it spun out as its own venture, and sold various merchandise directly to retail customers (B2C) via its own websites as well as on Amazon as a Gold Level Seller and eBay. Before even most advertisers knew what pay-per-click was, Adapt had purchased more than a million clicks on Google. Even earlier than that, the company was bidding on hundreds of thousands of terms, many obsure combinations programatically generated in the days before name matching, on GoTo.com, a precursor to Google’s AdWords. The company also, albeit largely by accident, engaged in domaineering, buying and selling premium domain names, with its highest profile transaction being the sale of SyFy.com to Viacom’s New Fizz Corporation.

Adapt was a reasonably successful small business in the earlier days of the internet. The long decline of its prospects began at the end of 2003 as Google updated its algorithm with what it dubbed as its “Florida” update, quite likely named as a “stick in the eye” for the effect it had on (Florida based) Adapt. In 2018 the decision was made to dissolve the company.

The second owner’s site 163.com just seems to timeout.

Don’t do that, whoever is behind this shouldn’t be rewarded for this sort of thing.

Oh they absolutely should

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Gawrsh.cow

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this might be like a good spot to find some ingredients

Can anyone see a way to donate more than $3 at a time? Think my bank might mistake it for fraud if I try submitting the form 100 times.

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New BoC album teaser campaign just dropped

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great bit by whoever signed you up tbf

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Gawrsh indeed!

A Goofy Movie Reaction GIF

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Goofy is a… newsletter?!

Because you’re gaw-rsh

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