Get your joke on a Penguin!

that’s dogs

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What’s black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Lots of people in the replies on Twitter very earnestly complaining about this.

Guys it’s a marketing exercise. It costs more to run a competition than to buy 1 joke off wherever they get their jokes from.

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An embarrassed penguin

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What’s a penguins favourite relative?

Aunt Arctica

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*a pens’d win a blender

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what’s a penguin’s favourite antibiotic

penguincillin

hah! hahaha

I guess this is life now

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what did the penguin say to their penguin business client

I’ve pen(g)-u-in for [some kind of penguiny time]

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Who is penguin’s favourite sci-fi author?

Ursula K. Le Penguin

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Knock Knock
Who’s there
Noot
Noot who?
NOOT NOOT MOTHERFUCKER

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Why did the Mexican penguin push Mrs penguin off the iceberg?

Tequila.

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What did Ebenezer Scrooge say to the ghost of Christmas past that was also a small penguin?

“Bah, Humboldt!”

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Penguin goes into a pub and says ‘have you seen my brother?’ and the barman says ‘I don’t know, what does he look like?’

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How many languages do penguins speak?

Peng-one

Why has a penguin never been beaten at anything?

Because if they had they’d be a peng-lose.

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I’ve got a stonker about a policemen shooting an unarmed penguin but I think it’s in too poor taste. I’ll let you fill in the gaps.

Who is a penguin’s favourite 90s novelty rapper?
Snow!

Why are penguins rubbish feminists?

They don’t see it as a black and white issue

What do you get if a gentoo fucks a rodent?
Penguinea pig

1 Like