Giving up the booze

ssp
#1

I think it’s time to admit that I have an absolutely terrible relationship with alcohol. I’m a terrible drunk, can be quite abusive and rude, and I black out loads. It’s not happened for ages but it happened yesterday for the first time this year. Today I feel mentally done in. If there was a pill I could take to make myself disappear forever then I’d take it. And I feel like that every time I get really drunk. Very very not good.

So I think I have to lay off it. I can occasionally drink in moderation but it’s not worth it for these times when I can’t.

Dunno why I’m writing this really. Anyone else relate?

#2

I cant reallty relate, but wish you the best :heart:

#3

Not quite the same but I got to the stage at one point where every time me and my wife went out I’d get horrendously pissed and end up causing a blazing row. This used to happen a lot before events/birthdays etc too (she didn’t talk to me for the entirety of my 30th birthday, and rightly so) and caused a real problem. I gave it all up for three months and it really changed my perception on drinking in that now I have a beer or two or some wine etc purely for the enjoyment of whatever I’m drinking rather than the effects of it if that makes sense. I’d much rather just have one beer at home that I know is going to taste good, maybe try something new etc than go out and pour any old cheap shite down my neck. Doing my job helps, cause I need to test beers for taste rather than how drunk they get me. Taking a little break from all booze was the best thing I could have done, highly recommend it. Not sure if this helps but here it is anyway!

#4

I can relate to that. I now have maybe 2 or 3 of those a year and they are horrifying. Spend whole weekends filling in the blanks with terrible things I might have done/said (usually nothing).

Apart from that I seldom get REALLY drunk. Just slowly poisoning myself.

You probably want to find a strategy for those big night out social events. I switched to g&t for a bit because it’s very hard to get proper drunk on pub measures. ALL these trendy/delicious 6/7/8% IPAs are my nemesis.

#5

Definitely got an alcohol dependency. Spoken about it a few times on here. Need to knock it on the head for a couple of weeks coupled with starting a new exercise class. Absolutely have to stop drinking in secret/alone.

Can we #SSP this thread please.

#6

Yeah, this sounds familiar. I don’t really start a row, I’m just a total dickhead to Mike, pretty abusive and nasty. And we always have the conversation beforehand “what are you gonna do about not drinking loads and not being a twat”

I am terrible.

#7

Haven’t blacked out in a while but spend pretty much the entire next day hating myself and mulling over anything bad I might have done or said, and regretting the money spent (weirdly I still get this if I’ve gone to someone’s house and drunk a tenners worth of cans), then just do the same thing again the next weekend

#8

In the last week I’ve lost a credit card and a pair of glasses on 2 separate nights out, both times I haven’t been that drunk but still obviously blacked out a bit.

Also, means I don’t sleep well for a couple of days after which is pretty much the worst thing for me MH-wise.

I have a pretty crippling shyness with most people which I solve with alcohol which probably isn’t a good idea either.

Sorry, none of this helpful.

#9

My trouble is I’m a very good drunk, so there’s little incentive to stop other than the 2-3 days afterwards where my mental health afterwards takes a huge nosedive. My tolerance is too high and I don’t know when to stop - when everyone else is done drinking I’ll usually have a few more cans to myself before going to bed. Which is ridiculous and does me no good at all.

I find myself actively volunteering to drive to social events now to take away the temptation to get mullered lately. Really need an attitude shift.

#10

I remember that last time you wrote about this a few years back and didn’t you feel really better for giving it up and end up getting into cycling as a result? Sounds like a no brainer to me.

I was a terrible binge drinker in my teens and twenties, all I knew on nights out was to get smashed. Thankfully natural lifestyle changes have meant those type of nights out happen rarely now and I’m pretty good at managing my drinking now without thinking. Normally the thought of how I’ll feel the next day puts me off having more that a few.

#11

Hi yes, I have gave up drinking. It followed an incident where I was drinking Red Wine, went to bed… and proceeded to act threateningly towards my wife in a drunking sleepwalking state, trying to climb under our bed and swearing at her when she expressed annoyance at it.

When i woke, to find her sleeping downstairs, I had to sit and listen to a version of myself that I instantly hated and reviled. It wsas the hardest conversation we’ve ever had.

I have got properly drunk twice since I stopped five years ago - and both times it’s been rubbish. I find no enjoyment from getting drunk, only from having a beer once maybe ever six months. I find I miss nothing about it; there is almost no benefit to it.

I have my sister’s wedding in a few weeks, and I might permit myself a few drinks then, but I won’t be getting drunk. It just has no benefit to me.

As for how easy it was? Well, with two young kids and a partner who is teetotal it makes it a lot easier. We also live away from friends, who many tempt me, so the external pressures people may put onto my, conciously and subconciously, are quite limited which made cutting it out entirely very easy. Also, in the Lake District travelling anywhere is a car-job, so there is very little choice (I have a zero tolerance policy for anyone having “a drink” and driving).

I don’t know if I can give any advice, because everything’s different for everyone, but for me I saw the reaction my wife had to “other self” after a particularly bad night, and I never wanted that to happen again. Bar maybe twice a year, I don’t touch the stuff, and i’ve lost weight, had more fun on night’s out when they do happen, and spent a lot less cash. and we still occasionally go to pubs.

#12

Take some time off - you might have a different relationship with booze after a couple of sober months.

I think I got out of some very bad drinking habits this way.

#13

More and more people I know around about my age group (late 20s through to mid 30s) are going sober for the reasons you’ve outlined and or health reasons. They seem so much better off and are great to be around (not that they weren’t before!)

I have no advice really but I hope it works out for the best, whether it’s a permanent stop or just for a few months

#14

I’ll drink pretty heavily and only once every 3 months regret a night but still find it very enjoyable to just go and get drunk.

Beer makes me far more pleasant than nasty nowadays

#15

My hangovers got sharply worse after about 25, to the point that if i just have a few pints now i struggle to get out of bed at all the next day. Even if i have, say three pints now i feel like shit the next day, when i was younger i could have ten or more on a weeknight and bounce out of bed.

Absolutely nobody i know of a similar age to me drinks less than the recommended weekly units. The vast majority of mates, relatives, colleagues drink some alcohol every day. It’s too easy to get in the habit of using it to de-stress, isn’t it, either a bit at a time or occasional blowouts?

It’s quite difficult to quit drinking entirely because the quality of booze has never been higher, and that feeling when you’ve had, like, two pints, is literally the best thing. That said, the natural seretonin boost after a few days of not drinking can be very enjoyable.

I reckon the best way’s probably to have three or four hobbies which don’t revolve around alcohol. It’s not that easy. Virtually all forms of entertainment involve a pint or two during, before or after. Short of becoming a gymbore i’m not sure what the answer is - i go to a gig i have a pint, i go for a bike ride i have a pint, i play five-a-side we have a pint after…

#16

You don’t believe this to be true do you?!

#17

I’m telling you my experience.

Yours might be different.

#18

you do what now!? :open_mouth: :wink:

#19

Totally agree with bugduv there tbh. Even going out for a walk round the park, my ulterior motive is “let’s go home via the Talbot and have a nice pint”.

#20

I rarely drink, and have been properly drunk about 5 times in as many years (if that). These days I tend to tap out after two drinks, and I only ever drink in a social setting.

I can’t hack the hangovers (which are really bad as I’m moderately allergic to booze), the shame or the regret. Feel a million times better since (mostly) giving it up, but be prepared for a world of peer pressure. It’s eye-opening how eager other full-grown adults are for you to get wrecked.