Glastonbury 2019


Shit festival for shit cunts


I cannot tell if this is a serious or joke suggestion but I will treat it as the former. I would say that he fails criteria 4 by quite some distance.

If it was a joke answer please feel free to give a serious one! This subthread has been an unmitigated success so far :wink:




This implies he was sent back to New Zealand forever, which he unfortunately wasn’t.

I think the upshot of the Beyoncè thread on here a few years ago was that anybody who doesn’t love her is a dispicable person, and I must say I fully agree. However I’d like to see the punishment be changed to exile on a far less nice island, like Man or Wight or any of those Tory prick ones.


Missed out on tickets this year, but i’ll have a go in the resale and the other ‘secret’ sales they have.
I still think the line- up is excellent, last year on the Friday night alone you had:
Angel Olsen, Elbow, Sleaford Mods, Flaming Lips, Lorde, The XX, Radiohead, Anderson Paak, Dizzie Rascal to choose from, which pretty much covers all bases for me anyway.


I reckon The Cure will headline.


I think Elton John might, he’s not done it before and is soon retiring


Not a bad shout.
It’ll probably be Muse or something though.
Not too bothered to be honest. Glasto is alright when watching on telly or iplayer but seems like my idea of hell in reality.


Hootie and the blowfish


Elton Johns a good shout. He’s got the songs, he’s an excellent performer, yeah he could easily nail a pyramid headline slot


A serious, and good, answer, If he stuck to music he’s recorded since autumn 2016.


Absolutely serious. Reckon everyone there would know about a dozen of his songs without knowing they know them. His last two Superbowl half times have been dead good too.


90 minutes of Uptown Funk might be a bit much for me :wink:

But I would agree that he has the stage presence, etc. for people to enjoy


Bruno mars definitely not big enough to headline. Look at recent years, Pharrell, KP etc, all on the undercard.

The pop headliners have to be properly massive like Adele or Sheeran. Reckon there’s only a handful that size it could be. Taylor Swift or Gaga probably. Madonna maybe?


Bruno is bigger than Pharrell and KP though innit?


The strong rumours are Arctic Monkeys, McCartney and The Cure.

I reckon Elton will play in 2020 as it’s the 50th anniversary and Elton’s farewell is lasting three years.


Sound and sensible reasoning.


Kylie is rumoured as the Sunday legend and I’ll be gutted if true as I didn’t get tickets!


This seems like a very likely scenario


They need to shake the formula up a bit.
Legends headline slot: Undertaker vs HHH in a Glaston-buried alive match.