Give me some good anecdotes to cheer my friday
Friend of a friend, was out and about in Loughborough and met a wonderful woman who took him back to her flat. They were pissed, and after all the sex he pointed out that he needed to get up and leave early (like 6am) to finish some work. She said fine, call me, and then said something else about waking up early that as he awoke he couldn’t quite remember. He was on cloud 9, such was her excellentness.
Anyway, gets up at 6, tiptoes to the bathroom so as not to awake the various housemates. Goes for a crap. And then remembers the ‘something else’ just as he tries to flush the toilet. Which won’t flush.
Massive crap in the toilet. Worst. He has to leave fast, too. Panics. Tiptoes quickly to the kitchen, gets a tescos bag, tiptoes back up. Turns bag inside out and tries not to think about it as he wrestles a large wet crap into it. Humbling yes, but disaster averted.
Tiptoes back down stairs terrified of encountering an awoken housemate while carrying aforementioned sodden poo bag. Somehow luck is on his side. He extremely quietly puts on his coat, his trainers, checks he’s got his phone, his keys, his wallet, his rucksack. Slips out the door into the cool morning air, closing it behind him.
Just as the Yale clicks shut, he realises he’s not holding the bag anymore :’(