Good small talk lines for work


#1

I’ve got one about how mice and rats are like Pret A Manger - you’re never too far away from one.

Comes up often and always goes down okay.

Please share yours and help me.


#2

“How are you?”
“Oh you know, it’s Monday”
“Yeah… Haha”

Works for Friday as well.


#3

Hot today isn’t it.


#4

on Thursday - ‘Don’t worry its nearly the weekend hahaha’


#5

They’re always changing stuff in my office so it’s usually along the lines of

“weird that they’ve knocked that wall down isn’t it?” followed by a “well you never know with this place!”


#6

If somebody asks to borrow my umbrella I always give them a ‘sure, but don’t get it wet!’ and then give them at the very least a single gun, sometimes the double.


#7

in response to ‘up to anything this weekend, mate?’

‘just thinking about you’, maybe a cheeky wink.


#8

Did you see the game last night?


#9

Those people on Love Island, eh?!


#10

Another favourite is talking about how slow the WiFi is while awkwardly waiting for something to load.


#11

You have to wind it up! Ahahahahahaha!


#12

Hamster must have died!!!111111111


#13

Going on a cruise this year?

(I work for a cruise line)


#14

People now use this convention for any given day of the week now. If I ask you how you’re doing and you reply with “It’s Monday” [roll of the eyes] or “It’s Friday” [smirk] I will discern you are feeling either bad or good respectively, but what am I to discern if you reply with the name of a day that has no discernible feel?

“How’s it going?”
“It’s Tuesday”
“…”


#15

“How are you?”
“Oh you know, it’s Monday”
“No it isn’t, it’s Friday you twat.”
“Yeah… Haha”


#16

When someone comes in early I always ask if they have shit the bed. Guaranteed winner every time


#17

Now I’m curious about what proportion of people who work for a cruise line go on a cruise each year.


#18

People that work on the ships definitely do


#19

Well that’s the factor I was angling for an answer to.


#20

Going on a cruise this year?

(I don’t work for a cruise line)