Got any interesting close/distant relatives?

my ma occasionally regales me with stories about my great grandfather who apparently was involved in gun-running for the IRA

also had a cousin on my dad’s side who was a heavy duty drug dealer in Australia for a while and laundered some of his money through putting on festivals over there with some of the big DJ’s of the day like Carl Cox, he went off the rails a bit when he got into dabbling in his own produce, fell through the roof of my aunt’s house whilst trying to break in and ended up serving about 10 years inside

stories not involving criminals also welcome…

If you Google my (original) surname you get some stuff about my aunt (by marriage to my dad’s brother) being kidnapped for ransom but it apparently being some kind of scam that she was in on, related to her son’s incarceration due to IRA-related activities.

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My 2nd cousin once removed was the runner up on Love Island 2016. I found this out at my grandad’s wake earlier this year.


My grandad on my mum’s side was apparently involved in some kind of smuggling operation on the Liverpool docks. According to my gran, raids of his house became so routine that he became quite friendly with some of the investigators.

any idea what he was smuggling?

you’ve probably just won the thread already pal

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I THINK it was furniture. Or booze.

Also my grandpa’s father looked exactly like (notorious philanderer) Edward VII and everyone used to tell him that when he grew up. According my my mum he was dropped off at an orphanage by a well-to-do lady when he was a baby and money sent over every month… So… maybe I’m 2748959th in line to the throne or something?

I will definitely be guillotined in the DiS revolution won’t I.


Another IRA connection here (great-uncle), he wasn’t even spoken about until I was in my 20s.


think pretty much everyone of irish descent in the west of scotland has this type of story eh?


This is my grandad’s brother


one of mcfly is my dad’s cousin’s son. who wants to touch me.

my dad’s grandad moved to Australia when he was 14 and came back 5 years later absolutely minted. apparently found a load of gold, sounds dodgy to me though. bought a chicken farm and drank the rest of it.

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MASSIVELY misinterpreted this on first, second and third read.


Read that as a comma, not a full stop.



My auntie was one of the writers & animators on The Snowman and my uncle’s company designed the logo for the railways in the UK, but they see themselves as above the rest of the family so I just hope they’re happy but have no interest in connecting with them in any way.

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Diana Dors was my grandad’s aunt, or something like that.

Around the time I discovered this, there was a Channel 4 programme about her fortune being lost and the trail to try and find it and get it back to its rightful heir. To a lot of people that programme was entertainment. To me it was a lottery ticket.


My great grandfather was a bare knuckle boxer. There’s a long line of hard as nails guys in my family that finally stops with Doughy McPacifist here. If there is any kind of afterlife they’re going to kick the shit out of me for eternity.


Danny. only talked to him once tbh - at a funeral when my mum marched me up to him & said “Billy plays guitar”. seems alright, really likes Bruce Springsteen.


I’ve just had a fantastic idea for next year’s comedy hit of the summer. It’s like Get Hard, but instead of prepping someone for a life in prison, it’s prepping someone for a violent afterlife.

We can call it Ghost Brute.

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