I’ve had a few
Should’ve seen Big Star when they played at the Connect festival in 2007. Don’t know who I saw instead.
Oh aye. But what’s the point?
i beat myself up proper for turning down a certain job in 2014 which would have made me very happy. don’t anymore, but fuck me, I went mad over that
My final year of university, probably.
Looking back there wasn’t a lot of agency into what was definitely an episode where I’d elected to start sleeping on park benches and stuff despite having a room, but a mixture of bad acid trips and just not doing anything destroyed any potential I ever had immediately (or at least for the next few years) and probably confined me to oblivion forever but
[Stubs out cigarette, stares into middle distance]
How long have you got?
oh I shouldn’t have told literally everyone I knew when I landed an interview for MI5 because they probably found out about that
Just a couple of minutes, so if you could keep it concise, thanks
Dunno if I have proper regrets but I do definitely have a handful of very pivotal individual moments where I often wonder how my life would have been had they gone differently.
If I had tucked home a late equaliser for Pluckley CofE Primary School against Bethersden in the small schools tournament instead of fresh-air kicking I genuinely think I might be a more confident, less self-loathing human being.
If I had locked the bloody door in my uni halls bedroom so as not to be caught in the act with someone else’s gf I would possibly have finished my course and it would have been even more of a waste of time and money than the first year ended up being but at less of a cost to my various family and friend relationships.
A few, but two that nag at me are not going to a couple of stag dos. Not because I think I’d have had a good time, but because I feel that I should have been more supportive. Maybe burned a couple of bridges there unnecessarily.
Also the time I got involved with somebody at work. That was super dumb, under the circumstances.
But mostly it’s the stag dos.
Really fucked school up. In hindsight it would have been easy just to not be a bellend for two years but for whatever reason couldn’t, so got kicked out and scraped poorer grades at college before falling onto a generic ‘dunno and nobheads’ course at sixteen - an IT GNVQ. Again, could have pissed it but couldn’t be bothered. Never wanted to go to university until it was too late. In hinsight i needed much more of a boot up the backside between about 13 and 16.
[Finishes whiskey in one, slides a napkin over to you and walks out.
When you turn the napkin over you read the following statement:
‘Never played any of the Suikoden games.’]
Pursuing a job with no work / life balance. No-one taught us at school that having a career might mean being at work basically all the time.
Should have found a new job earlier than I did. Should have gone to a new job before my old place closed down and I was forced to go freelance because I had nothing else to do. Fucked me up financially and I’m still paying off my stupid income tax now. I ended up with not enough work and used my savings to live on and then I had no money to pay the previous year’s income tax. I should have signed on or something but head held high I wasn’t going to do that. I was going to earn my money. Got a proper job in the end but wish it was sooner. Much sooner.
drinking 6 pints last night
Ask me when I’m in my 80s.
Very few if any. As UP says above, what’s the point? But I’m not sure we necessarily have much of a choice whether we focus on them or not. I feel lucky that of all the ways my brain chooses to be my enemy dwelling on regrets isn’t one of them.
I could genuinely have made my life better if I’d done certain things in the past and in recent years I wasted way too much time on a doomed enterprise to my very real emotional cost featuring constant repercussions. But it’s done.
- Frank Sinatra
- New Order
- Trail of Dead
- Robbie Williams
dunno mate. Just blessed to be alive tbh