Seriously though, I’ve got one huge regret from when I was 16. Ended up in a nightmare relationship which massively affected my self-confidence, ruined a few good friendships and generally set me on a different course than I would have been on otherwise. I often think about what would have happened had I chosen differently back then.
The there’s the million embarrassing moments of my life both big and small that flash before my eyes every other night before I go to sleep. Though I’d rather just not have a stupid broken brain than erase them all.
I think I fucked myself up quite a lot and hurt quite a lot of other people down the line as well. Really hated myself because of it for a long, long time, found it hard to commit to any long term relationships blah blah blah. Think it all stems from losing my virginity too young and not really dealing with my feelings properly.
They are! They’re the best and I love them so very much.
I just feel like I see girls with loads of girl mates out having a nice time and I feel a pang of oh I wish that was me. It’s so hard to make new friends when you’re almost 30 and quite shy. And who am I kidding, I cba to go out.
Although the gym has meant I start talking to some new people. I often go home and I’m like “I spoke to a girl I haven’t spoken to before for a good 10 mins before class!!”. Another girl was chatting with me all the way to the car and my bf is like GYM FRIEND and i’m like GYM FRIEND!!
Oh god i’m so lame no wonder I have no friends
Boys tend to hang on to friends more than girls do sometimes? But I also think going to uni plays a big part in that. More long-term mates rather than people you fleetingly become friends with via other people/going out.
I go through cycles with this but I think I actively wish I hadn’t gone. It’s weird - I had a fantastic time but I completely struggle to see the point of it and how it’s been beneficial.
Studying/learning = awesome. Going to university = meh?
Where did you grow up though? I think that makes a huge difference. I grew up in a small town in the pre-internet era and going to university meant so much more than just studying.
You’re anything but lame! If we lived closer I’d definitely want to get the bants with you, if you’d have me. Haha.
I know what you meaaan tho, I’m quite shy too when I first meet people and I find it quite hard to find people that I genuinely click with. Recently I hadn’t seen some of my besties for absolutely ages (they both moved away) and it was really starting to get to me I do have lots of friends but they’re the kind of friends that you all hang out in a big group together, but it’s the select few where you’ll have one on one deep life chats!! Where you sob and then laugh until you sob. They’re the ones that’ll be there till the end!!! YASSS! I keep on threatening that we are all going to die together, with our cats, in each others arms. Sobbing and laughing. No wonder they moved away
I grew up in a small village at a similar time! (Think I’m 3/4 years younger than you?) Think I might be an outlier though - I had 2 large social groups BEFORE I went to university, which is probably quite unusual (and fortunate, of course).
I don’t think the university I went to helped either (Nottingham). At the time it was a dumping ground for private school kids who didn’t make it to Oxbridge. Man alive it showed.