Great Work Emails

Stern words from our office manager

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They’ve got a point to be fair. Never worked anywhere that drinking beer wouldn’t be an immediately sackable offense.

crack open a can of strongbow and put your feet up on the table

I’m going to be drinking beer near my desk from around 4 pm today

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Didn’t know they had emails in Mad Men.

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Find “drinking at work as a perk” stuff to be really cringey.

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worked at one publishers run by germans that was ultra modern and wouldn’t allow booze into the office even for for christmas parties/leaving drinks.

the last one I worked for was run by Eton English cokeheads and there’d be bottles of wine and vodka in filing cabinets and desk draws. there was a fridge stocked with cans of stella artois and bottles of cheap rose in the main lobby area. was really weird.

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^never worked in a brewery. Or the City.

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Absolutely years ago some guy emailed (the entire team) a really lengthy, dramatic description of his bike slightly slipping on some oil on his way in and so he had gone home and wouldn’t be in that day and the reply-all response of “So you’re not coming in because you nearly fell off your bike?” was very good.

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This one from a couple of weeks ago (should point out this was sent to several hundred people):

Someone seems to have taken my Huel nutrition drink from the 2nd floor Blue Zone fridge.

I only put it in there at about 9:30 this morning with SH@NE written on it, and just went to the fridge at 12:15 to have it over lunchtime and it was gone.

If you’ve taken this by accident not noticing the name on it or have spotted someone drinking it please let me know.

Now going to the restaurant for lunch.

Regards,

Shane

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So much this, all that insidious creepy stuff that’s designed to make your work and social lives blur into one.

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This same guy once sent a full-team email about the fact he was “trying to adjust his sleeping patterns” so we should “not be alarmed if we find him asleep on the sofa in the kitchen occasionally”

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Nope. Either worked in labs or with patient data or in hospitals so drinking is an absolute no.

bit rude to share this sort of thing about @bergkamp on here tbh

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Classic SH@NE

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Shatne?

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Am I allowed to agree but still like it?

I mean, this is the life I have

There was a happy ending (also sent to several hundred people):

Hi Shane,

Sorry, this was me. I just got home not too long ago to see that I clumsily left mine on my kitchen counter.
Incidently, I was more than 70% through it before someone pointed out that it had “Sh@ne” written on the other side of where I had been holding it. I’ll return two cherry flavour bottles to you tomorrow. I’m sorry for your loss today.

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If Shane deliberately spells his name with an @ symbol, then frankly, Shane had it coming.

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dunno, given that you’re trapped spending more hours a week with these people than anyone else in your life either way you might as well get some enjoyment out of it

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