Greetings Cards At Work

Got a leaving card going round atm. Gonna shabs it up a bit I think.

This is something we can all aspire to

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think the main problem with it is the bedding in time for the new nocard approach. Having to explain to everyone numerous times that you don’t do cards until they know you’re a miserable bastard

One year we forgot a colleague’s birthday and hastily organised a card to be signed on the day. In the ensuing panic the card was discreetly passed to the birthday boy who unknowingly signed his own card who wrote a lovely message before handing it to the next person. We all had a great laugh over that. Still talked about to this day (probably, I no longer work there).


Miserable bastards

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Congratulations on the new role for everything

I tried drawing birthday balloons next to my message once, looked like sperm :confused:


Card went round for a man whose wife had given birth. Plenty of the usual ‘congratulations’, ‘amazing news’ and so on.

Lad next to me just put ‘oh no!’

Which I thought was hilarious for some reason.


This reminds me. Friend’s wife’s grandmother died a while ago, friend’s mum sent her a condolence card, and signed it on behalf of herself and friend’s dad. Friend’s wife texted both of them later to say “Thanks so much for the card.” Friend’s dad texted back with “No problem, hope you had a great day!”


Few years back my partners boss was leaving. He and his wife both worked in the same office, and my partner hated them both, so i suggested she should write “We’ll always have Paris xxx” in the card, try to cause some marital disharmony as a final fuck you. She didnt, obvs, but she mentioned my plan to one of her colleagues and he wrote the Paris line in the card and apparently everyone thought it was fucking hilarious, the joke stealing prick

This would make me laugh to be fair :smiley:

My uncle passed away a bit ago, my Dad found this out whilst he was down visiting me and we were out and about so straight after the phone call we got in a taxi and obviously my Dad was upset and I was holding his hand, both of us sat there in the taxi looking upset. Taxi driver turns round to us and says “Cheer up! Could be worse!” Oofft. we both burst out laughing.

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haha yeah it was taken well, it was told to me as a funny story at a family party of theirs recently

After we forgot someone’s birthday last month, my team decided to compile a birthday list and agreed that we’d take it in turns buying cards, where we buy a card for the person whose birthday is after ours. This has fallen at the first hurdle as the person whose birthday we forgot has fucked off on holiday without getting a card for the person whose birthday is this week

Last week I had two cards come round for people who I don’t know and who I am sure don’t know my name. In these circumstances I write on it but put whatever name comes into my head first (eg. Beyonce).

So this is a thing everywhere now? I thought it was just my office that had gone Clinton’s-crazy. Used to just be weddings, milestone birthdays or when folks left, but now seems to be every single birthday.

What I hate is that I’m at the end of a row and tend to always get the internal envelope last. I then have to read all the names on the card for someone who hasn’t signed it or try to work out who was most likely to have bought the effing thing in the first place so I can return it to them.

As for birthday greetings - I always write “many happy returns of the day” in small writing in a corner somewhere.

For this reason I used to be really eager to sign the cards when they came to my office - then I could palm them off on someone else instead of having to take them to the next office, or even worse, across the road.

Was handed two birthday cards to sign yesterday, and everyone seems to think I’m going to write some fucking poem or something (I used to attempt to be witty. I stopped). I just put “hope it’s fine”, twice.

I might start doing the fake message from celebrity thing though. Seems like fun.

I wish this would happen but, seated where I am, the only way I can influence the order is to go and buy the fucking things in the first place!

Great ear for a good card.

I got the ol’ “Happy Birthday!” in my leaving card the other week. Would’ve been top bants had it not been from someone who I know deep down thought it was genuinely a birthday card.