obviously jook needn’t retell swimming in shit, he can just copy paste it.
my old flatmate and i both used to drink cans of pepsi max. he had the incredibly upsetting quirk of chucking/tidying little bits of crumbs etc into the top of his can if he was finished with it, even if half full
inevitably, one day a year in i picked up what i thought was my can. took a swig. went oh no oh no oh no. spat. fucking big toenail m8s. still makes me want to hurl now. fucking deviant shitehead bastard.
I predict that this thread could get very TMI very quickly
exciting
Sure it’s happened to plenty of people but accidentally taking a big swig from the ash can the morning after a house party is properly nasty
what immediately springs to mind is going to use a bag to pick up my dog’s shit and half way through the scooping realising that i’ve ripped the bag and my hand gets smeared with warm dogshit
I fell into a big pile of donkey poo at a sanctuary on the Isle of Wight when I was a little kid and, apparently, caused the first big argument between my mum and my step-dad - he didn’t want to wade in to get me out in his new suede shoes 
Mum had to buy me a whole new outfit.
Accidentally launched a used condom down a bus and over several people. Still have anxiety dreams about it.
Mate we’re going to need a lot more detail here.
Swigged a lucozade sport that had a spider in it during a football game once.
Don’t even mind spiders but that was very unpleasant.
I may be guilty of doing this. But only when it’s properly finished and going in the bin after.
Soz
Sorry u wot mate
As if you’ve dropped this bombshell and then left
Tilty’s first ban incoming!
Knotted?
I’ve only recently started knotting. No idea what I was playing at before
Accidentally touched a slug once. That was really gross
Chugged heftily on a carton of milk that had become pretty much cottage cheese. Deeply unpleasant.
Not me, but a friend was smoking a cigar at a party once and we were very shitfaced and he set it down on the step to run inside and grab a drink, came back out, picked up his cigar and just as he reached his lips realised he’d picked up a slug instead.
Ah yes. Also the grossest thing that has happened to me.
Was my first year of uni and there was this mini canteen in the music building. Took a pint of milk out of the open fridge and took a massive swig of… Curdled sour milk boke
Urghhh okay when I was a kid I once licked a bit of marmite off my finger
it wasn’t marmite
Oh ffs no