What things are 100% certain to pierce your usual zen-like calm and irk you good and proper?
For me, it’s cars (etc.) not indicating at roundabouts. It’s such a uniquely selfish driving act in terms of how much it inconveniences other road users and how little effort it takes to fix it. Utterly infuriating.
People eating loudly
People conflating popularity with quality while arguing for something
smug guardian commentators who think they’re the fist person to make whatever trivial easily-dismissed non-point they’re making
EDIT : any commenters really but I generally only read the guardian ones.
Almost every single thing that exists in life.
I’m usually pretty chill but got pretty irked when someone asked me to move my shopping up on the conveyor belt at asda. How about waiting a fucking second until it moves up itself you impatient prick?
Football pundits
Mate, Garbage are fucking excellent. End of.
Banging my head on the corner of a kitchen cupboard. Drives me fucking crazy, especially as it’s nobody’s fault but my own 
Bike boglins going through red lights.
We only do that when we’re in a hurry
People hovering over your shoulder - gah, fuck off!
any bad situation that I could’ve averted by my own actions
We’re all in a hurry pal. Think on.
I cannot stand this. Really winds me up a treat.
Backseat driving when I am cooking, cleaning, generally doing chores.
Pay attention to the fucking road then, Christ!
yeah it does. even though some people cant help, it’s gets proper under my skin
OH GOD THIS
I’ve made you this meal a load of times and you’ve always said you’ve enjoyed it, noooooooooooooooooow you happen to have come into the kitchen and decided that the way I’ve cut the onion isn’t right. GET OUT OF HERE.
I find apples are the worst