I really, truly wish he would fuck off. I’m gonna rant for my own benefit for a while because I hate every fucking molecule of this cunt with every fibre of my being. Skip if you want.
Click here for rant
All his opinions are wrong and awful and delivered in the most turgid “my good sir” prose imaginable. He absolutely coins it for writing the exact same article every week. He has no politics beyond emulating things Christopher Hitchens and Orwell said years ago. Basically your da when he logs on, parroting shite he saw in a Hitchens debate video on youtube.
His whole shtick is being a leftist unafraid to critique the left, but somehow this radical outlook, by sheer coincidence I’m sure, always brings him down on the side of lucrative publishing contracts and a continued and undeserved presence in opinion sections in establishment-friendly media. He has an icy, interstellar hatred of anything that threatens to upset his comfortable pig existence even one iota, and anything that furthers leftist causes or demonstrates the growing appeal of socialism across society is a fire he feels it’s his duty to piss on until everyone goes back to being miserable and dejected.
He’s a fanatical Zionist with a deep hatred of Muslims and a peculiar affinity for likening antisemitism to rape. He decided to pretend to be Jewish purely so he could play the victim and didn’t seem to understand how fucking offensive that is when he was called out. Last year he had one of the most embarrassing breakdowns in print I’ve ever read (the “you’re a fucking fool, a fucking fool for voting Labour” column), and instead of this ridiculous, childish and unprofessional outburst provoking even a mild rebuke from his bosses, the Guardian issued some lukewarm apology/defence and a few weeks later the tortoise-faced fuck had the nerve - the sheer fucking unadulterated audacity - to resume smearing every single Labour voter outside his peculiar shitlib dad wank demographic as bullies and “Stalinist trolls” or some shit.
His continued employment is proof that capitalism does not function as it’s supposed to. His opinions are terrible. He still thinks the Iraq War was a good thing. He wouldn’t drop the “moderate rebel” line on Syria until long after that particular bit of bullshit had warped public opinion on bombing. That this absolute cunt of a human being can write what @Bamnan c+p’d there without realizing how ridiculous he looks - as a well paid, well fed white man casting judgement from his mountain of bullshit on the beliefs and values of an entire section of the public - says everything really. He’s a relic, and he knows he is, and like all other mediocre establishment shills this knowledge curdles into resentment. Not just resentment at being behind the times, but resentment at knowing, deep down, that he doesn’t believe in anything, and even if he did, he wouldn’t have the courage to fight and die for these beliefs anyway. Hence fetishizing military intervention, Orwell’s time in Spain, etc. I know he gets a chubb on when he can write another shitty Islamophobic or anti-Momentum article, because for imaginatiion-free dweebs like Nick, this is their version of rioting or going to fight for the YPG or the Spanish anarchist; they genuinely think they are witty, rebellious, dangerous shit, instead of lazy hacks with tosspot opinions and crank values.
Now Cohen is locked in a kind of reactionary centrism that would happily enable the worst of the right-wing if it meant a left-wing movement like Corbyn’s Labour - one that proves how out of touch the Cohens of the world are - was comprehensively destroyed. His opinions are poison in the reservoir, a wet turd in a mug of coffee, sowing division at a time when we should be uniting to fight what’s coming for us over the next few years. I hope he gets caught with porn on his computer, cocaine in his socks, whatever it takes to get him the fuck out of the discourse. He doesn’t deserve his place and he needs to fuck off forever.
In short: Fuck Nick Cohen. Fuck him to hell.
