mortimer_and_whitehouse_fishing

way ahead of you

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this dish is all wrong - it’s egg or pineapple, never both

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Wasn’t having a go

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What would you say would make the best egg fruit combo (with a veto on tomatoes).

I have been in that room on more than one occasion. Once I met a spy*

*At least I am convinced he was a spy.

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not sure there is one is there?

Is Avocado a fruit? If it is then it’s that obvs. If it isn’t I’m a bit stumped

I mean, I’m sure he would have been amenable to it.

Yeah it is. I guess maybe an olive omelette might be ok but maybe not.

Do eggs in a custard count? Because custard goes with lots of fruits.

No they don’t, sorry.

pls tell us about yr spy meeting

Sorry to say but this isn’t actually true;

“he reveals the motorway had to be built around the farmhouse because a geological fault beneath it would have been a massive task to overcome.”

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So I was there with my very posh friend who is a member of the club, and we had dinner then went to have a drink in the smoking room, the place in xylo’s picture (nb: you can no longer smoke in the smoking room).

After a couple of ports another group came in, and my friend recognised one of them as an old school chum he hadn’t seen in years. He came over and sat with us and we had a nice chat and a few more glasses of port. The guy was lovely, with a very impressive groucho moustache (despite the fact he was in his 20s, like us), but very evasive when my friend asked him what he was up to - the closest he got was saying he’d “been doing some bits of work for the Foreign Office”.

The more we drank, more little things came out. Like we got talking about holidays and he said he wanted to stay in London for a bit, because he’d just got back from Ghana. When we asked what he’d been doing there, he kind of chuckled and said, “Well, it was a bit of a sticky situation, I had to spend a couple of days at an old airfield waiting on someone… they needed some cash so I had a suitcase to give to him… funny old business really.” Not even kidding, that was how he spoke.

In hindsight he might also be an arms dealer or something.

i think if he was a spy, he would say he’s in imports and exports, or hostile takeovers, like james bond does

Wouldn’t pick up any bottles of perfume off the floor after disclosing that m9

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Walking down a pier because it’s there and you know deep down that these monuments to a ‘great’ British summertime are decaying and will eventually be reclaimed by an uncaring ocean. The smell of chips and vinegar and lost childhoods and forgotten promises washes over you as you gaze out in to the briney black. The sound of children laughing, another coin lost in the arcade machine, lights flash, everything is the same. Everything is dying.

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Love this ‘England is Shit’ thread.

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