As you’ve mentioned further down the thread, a lot of women just aren’t surprised by this stuff anymore because we’ve engaged with so many men who are “good people” and “nice guys” who deep deep down don’t see women as equals. We learn not to trust guys from an early age and try to learn the potential warning signs of creeps or sleazebags, learn defence tactics like telling them we have boyfriends or politely ending exchanges, but a lot of the time the men who grope and shame and belittle us aren’t the archetypal sleazes and are, for want of a better phrase, hiding in plain sight. A guy coming up to me in a bar could just be being “friendly” but how am I to know when so many other guys who have started off friendly have insulted me after I decide I don’t want to have a conversation or dance with them? How am I to know the guy in the bus seat next to me is just curious about what I’m reading when other guys have used situations like that to start dodgy conversations? Or that the guy putting his hands on my hips to move me out of the way isn’t going to accidentally slip them somewhere else when guys have done that in the pub in the past? I’m sad but not shocked at the Jesse Lacey allegations because that whole scene and genre was rife with misogyny (cf. most lyrics in 2000s emo/pop punk).
The best thing that can come out of this whole thing is men taking a look at themselves and their gender and working out where the rot is and listening to women (yes I know men have been affected too and I’m sure some women have abused their power too). It’s a good start that guys are becoming aware of stuff that women have to deal with. I’m going through the same process with regard to race and my white privilege and it’s forcing me to challenge a lot of my beliefs and past behaviours.
Not sure how coherent this is as I’m really low on sleep but I hope it goes some way to giving a female perspective on this.