Hate it when you look up a recipe and it says to use “day old bread”

I’ll just eat tomorrow instead then, prick.


Day old
Daaaaaaay old
Daylight come
And I no wanna go hungry



i can’t believe this is literally what i came in here to post

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Had something like this when I was in Chinchon.

No ham in it though.

Marlon and Roscoe have rubbed off on me :smirk: #thursday

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Fuck, I love authentic forms of energy!

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Love it when you go out and buy the ingredients, start working through the recipe and then step 5 says “leave to marinade overnight”.


Have lobbed recipe magazines out the kitchen window for this


Check out the recipe purists over here. Fancy letting some words on a paper tell you what to do. Could never be me

Or then it says something like “add boiling water before it…” AND YOU HAVENT EVEN SWITCHED THE KETTLE ON YET ARGH FUCK OFF beans on toast it is

MARLON: Hi, did someone order a Hot Meat Pizza with 69% extra sausage?

ROSCOE: I think the flat downstairs did

MARLON: Well I signed for it it’s mine now

ROSCOE: That’s for the courts to decide

MARLON: Fucks sake pass me the phone then

MARLON dials the number

MARLON: Ugh I’m on hold

ROSCOE: Typical. What music?

MARLON: It’s the Cisco standard one

ROSCOE: Classic drum machine pattern

MARLON: You know what the pizza’ll be cold before I get through I’ll just take it downstairs



do you know what I like the idea of recipes containing loads of extraneous personal detail

That’s a pisser as well. Anything that takes a ridiculous amount time.

Sure, I’ll slow cook this and have my dinner at 3am in the morning, dickhead


See, I kind of like this idea too. It turns teatime into a late night adventure

To marinade overnight, turn to 172
To just rub the sauce in for a bit, turn to 48

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It is one of those chef things that they don’t consider the general population may not have hanging around. They probably have loads of stale rolls, end of crusty loaves that they can keep hold of. Doesn’t quite work out if you grab a loaf of Warburtons every few days. Same when they drizzle olive oil all over the place, it is a restaurant flourish I’d never bother with at home.

Generally though I am a fan of reading recipes and finding out ingredients, times etc before committing to cooking that dish.

For breadcrumbs I make them whenever I have appropriate stale bread (pre sliced type bread is no good) and freeze them

why aren’t you reading the whole recipe before starting?

the hell is wrong with you all