I haven’t, but came pretty close when I was a kid after accidentally breaking a window while playing football, getting caught and then making up a name of someone who supposedly did it.
Have you been arrested? Or bribed your way out of it? Or used your family connections which run in to the heart of government to hunt people for sport without consequence?
No, but I’m extremely boring.
I applaud either your law abiding nature or ability to commit crime undetected.
Do you seek to engage in or have you ever engaged in terrorist activities, espionage, sabotage, or genocide?
I was going to say “they’ve all been pretty minor” but I don’t want to open myself up to an Elon Musking.
Have you ever violated any law related to possessing, using, or distributing illegal drugs?
I stole some good ramen noodles the other day but good luck catching me.
Have you traveled to, or been present in Iraq, Syria, Iran, Sudan, Libya, Somalia or Yemen on or after March 1, 2011?
So blatant too. the lady thought the error was from the booze and not cause of unexpected noodles in the bagging area.
I was arrested when I was 18 because I fit the description of a suspect. Next morning they turfed me out of the cell without apology. I asked some questions in the late night places - kebab shops - and it turned out, according to them, that I actually fitted the description of the victim.
Been stopped and searched quite aggressively both here and in Europe but otherwise no
No. Pulled over a few times in my early twenties for driving like a twat, but not enough of a twat (or not enough evidence) to be actually arrested.
I have never been arrested but I used to represent people at police stations.
I remember representing a 13 year old boy who had been pulled in for some street robbery because his scarf “showed gang affiliations.” It was a red scarf. I was also wearing a red scarf. The officers were not amused when I said to my client “Oh look, we’re in the same gang!”
Do you like movies about gladiators?
Yes, for theft. Stupid me at 19 years old. No funny or even remotely interesting story, sorry.