Have you ever been so popular/sexy/rich/famous you had to beat people off with a shitty stick?


#1

What about other cliches and metaphors?

Every got up early and caught the worm, took the bull by the horns?

I think I was guilty of counting my chickens before they hatched a few times.

Let’s have no jokes about beating off, please.


#2

When you move abroad and go back to visit friends and family, you feel a bit like a celeb (unless the visit is too long and they get sick of you again).


#3

That sounds likely.

New parents find themselves somewhat popular also. Although they can also make themselves unpopular in some quarters if they don’t shut up about their kid.


#4

Tend to use my hands tbh


#5

Anyone run but found themselves unable to hide?

(I’ve got tons of work to do but can’t find the willpower to do it - hence this turgid thread).


#6

@twentynine put this clown in the sin-bin, will you?


#7

Or gradually edged out of social circles because you can’t come out nearly as much as you used to, so people stop inviting you to stuff because they just assume you can’t come. (/voice of bitter experience)


#8

I have done this, sorry :frowning:


#9

In your defence, you never invited me to anything before I was a parent either :wink:


#10

I don’t even bother taking my shitty stick with me when I go out anymore. :frowning:


#11

Is this a reference to KK’s range of appetite-suppressing lollipops?


#12

It comes to us all, lesssexybum.


#13

Go for it, make it so.


#14

Has anyone ever looked a gift horse in the mouth?


#15

To be fair, it also works as a great sieve if you’re tired of your friends and want to get rid of a bunch while being able to blame it on their arrant thoughtlessness. It’s all about perspective (my perspective is that of a hideous misanthrope).


#16

Think he’s called bugduv these days


#17

I’ve licked a few.


#18

My bed is sideways against the wall so if I get out of the wrong side of the bed, the wall impedes me from rampaging aggressively through public life


#19

Metaphorically I do this all the time

Literally though - never been gifted a horse
But if I ever was the first thing I would do would be to check its teeth


#20

Hey I tell ya at this point it feels as if the shitty stick is beating off people with me

TRY THE CHOWDER I’M HERE ALL WEEK FOLKS