When I was scrabbling around for work in Nottingham a few years ago, I went for a few interviews at those horrible sales/pyramid/self-employment schemes that seemed to dominate the job websites (and probably still do). One in particular sticks in my mind for having particularly insufferable people who blathered on about motivation and ambition as if flogging charity subscriptions for ridiculous prices was what got them going in the morning (perhaps it did). I didn’t have quite the confidence to walk out mid-interview but there was a lunch break…and I wasn’t coming back.
Have you ever had an interview and thought to yourself, I really can't be bothered with this at all?
Yep. For some reason when I applied I had it in my head that the max would be 12 months which might have been OK, but fucked if I was going to live in Luxembourg for the best part of a decade
Babies do just spontaneously grow in there. It’s in the bible and everything you know.
You don’t need to educate me on the intricacies of the female reproductive system - I was raised (and educated) Catholic.
I once went to an interview at Krispy Kreme in Manchester. Halfway through it the interviewer said “we’re all about creating Magic Moments for our customers.” You could actually hear the capitalisation in his voice. Made me laugh out loud, I couldn’t stop myself. It wasn’t going to happen.
Had an interview for some job where the guy was an arse all the way through, telling me if his boss had been there and seen me wearing brown shoes and having a beard he would have thrown me out without an interview. I’d decided by the end of the interview I didn’t want the job coz he was a prick and everything he said about it sounded horrible but the next day I got a call from the recruitment agency saying they’d like to interview me again, but wearing black shoes and having had a shave. I told her what I thought about the company and that I didn’t want to go and do the same interview again wearing different shoes and she just said yeah fair enough, sounds stupid
Been to a few assesment days where there are a bunch of you there and they make you do loads of shit and then have the interview. Fuck me they’re grim. Guess they’re designed to figure out what your threshold for bullshit is. Left half way only a couple of these.
had a phone interview about a telesales job when i was at uni, guy called me up to talk about the job and at some point he asked me how important money was, to which i said it wasn’t the most important thing in the world. he then proceeded to lecture me on how i was wrong and it was the most important thing in the world, during which i nearly just hung up on him as he came across as such an insufferable dickhead and i didn’t really want the job anyway, but instead i got to the end, said i didn’t agree and ended the call.
i went to a couple of assessment centre things for a temp saturday job at Debenhams (mostly wanted to work there because loads of people i knew worked there). didn’t get the job either time, first time i was admittedly shit at the interview, think it might have been the first one i ever did.
was told months later to try again, got more tips off my mates including how they call you in for your interview in reverse order of how well you’ve done in the assessment centre i.e. the worst person goes first. put more effort in, went well, had to do some bullshit where you had to sell a candle holder or something to the group which i did surprisingly well in. interviews start, i get called out first. go through the motions as i know that i’m not getting it as i’m somehow deemed to be the worst person in the room, and at the end when i get asked if i have any questions i ask “so i’ve been told that the order you call people in for interviews is in reverse order, so by calling me in now it basically means i’m not getting the job, is that true?” and they were like “oh of course not, the order is completely irrelevant” but were clearly lying so i just left it at that. didn’t get the job.
Just found out I didn’t get a job for a full-time teaching assistant post at a local secondary school (I currently work part-time as one). Luckily I didn’t particularly want it, I just thought I’d send my CV there for the hell of it and see if they’d get back to me. I’m actually relieved to be honest, I’m still technically studying, the last thing I need at the moment is a full-time job. I guess not actually properly researching it, being hungover and having had >4 hours of sleep before the interview didn’t help though.
Had an interview with Hermes and they sent me a case study and a load of analysis to do in presentation style.
Just didn’t bother turning up
Can’t imagine actually wanting a job
Think I’ve told this before. But I was once interviewed and I was asked why my opinion had changed on something (or something like that, can’t quite remember) and I replied that it was due to "the passing of time.
I got contacted by a recruiter out of the blue about a job, and the salary on offer was essentially the low end of what you’d offer at entry level in my sector but ‘the benefits MORE than make up for the lower salary’. I trot along to the interview to be told that in recognition of my lengthy experience and achievements (lol, I just sit on the internet all day), they would be prepared to offer me the perks of… an extra days holiday. Nothing else. I declined and was told to ‘think about it over the weekend’. Again, I declined. On Monday morning, the recruiter announced that he had heard I’d verbally accepted and wanted to start contacting referees. He also wouldn’t take no for an answer so I had to block his number.
sounds like you’ve got a job there, congratulations!
I had this image of them all sitting there waiting for me to arrive, welcome banner, a cake, all the staff poised with party poppers. ‘Well, he definitely accepted the role!’
Yes, for my previous job. I was moving cities and had four interviews lined up on the same day. By the time I got to the fourth I was… not at my best. Found myself accidentally saying things like “I don’t really want to do any overtime”, unsubtle code for “I’m lazy”. For some reason they gave me the job and I was there for ten years.
For my current job I had to do an all day interview. There were supposed to be five candidates, but three sacked it off on the day and never turned up. Understandable enough, it was a hell of an interview process, but cheers anyway lazy twats for improving my odds.
Felt this way in the interview a couple of times. Mostly public sector stuff where they are prevented from doing a conversation style interview and just have to ask the set questions. There’s only so many times you can tell a made up story of how heroically anti-racist you are before you wonder how much this is rotting your soul.
One time I was traveling across to a second interview in Brighton for something that was billed as a 6 week unpaid internship with a probable job offer at the end. They had asked me to do a 20 minute presentation on quite a technical subject and I’d really half-arsed it just out of principle because I felt indignant at all the hoop-jumping for an unpaid position. On the train I got a confirmation that I’d got an offer for an actually paid job so I fucked off the interview and went for a stroll down the lanes, bought a pair of ray bans (fuck it I’m about to get paid!) and sat in the sun with a pint feeling like the king of town.
I like to imagine a nightmarish turn to this where they actually hire you without your permission. Then when you don’t turn up they sue you or something and somehow you’re so broken down by the whole process you end up working there…