#73

I have more poo stories. Just say the word.

2 Likes
#75

holy fuck this has just reminded me of my tent shitting experience

1 Like
#77

Quite similar to @Richie_Ronco’s but a bit different.

Reading Festival 2004. The Sunday morning. We’d camped quite far from the nearest toilets and I woke up bursting for a poo, like I knew if I got up and walked to the nearest portaloo and waited in line I wouldn’t make it. So I asked Mike to leave the tent, got a black bin bag out, and pooed in it. It was awful. Once I finished I tied it up and gave it to Mike who chucked it in a ditch.

3 Likes
#78

kinda do… but also kinda don’t

#79

classic mike

10 Likes
#80

oh my god!!!

1 Like
#81

heavy night out when I was about 20 / 21 maybe. Staying at my then girlfriends parents house, in a static caravan in the garden. Got back to the caravan absoutely steaming, announced I needed a shit, proceeded to bathroom shat in the toilet, or at least I thought I had. Went to bed. Woke up in the morning with no trousers or kecks on, shit up my back. Apparently I hadn’t made it to the toilet, which was also not plumbed in. shat half in my kecks, half in the unflushable toilet then disposed of my kecks out of the window of the caravan. Thankfully my trousers were intact and still wearable. Never could look the girlfriends parents in the eyes again after that one. Not sure who cleaned the toilet out as I made a hasty exit…

11 Likes
#82

Can’t believe I’ve only ever pooed in toilets as an adult despite my record. Feeling an odd mix of smug superiority and regret.

2 Likes
#83

This is amazing.

My dad shat himself once on our doorstep. Him and my mum would go to the curry place which is about a 15 min walk from our house and my dad was swallowing whole chillis for whatever fucking reason and then half way through the walk home, he had to leave my mum and run the rest of the way. He couldn’t get his key in the lock quick enough and was frantically banging on the door but I was inside being lazy and dragged myself up to open the door to find my dad on the door step, shitting his pants then pushing me out of the way to get to the bathroom.

Can confirm I was not involved in the cleaning up operation. My mum arrived home 10 mins later absolutely mortified cause he’d run past a lot of neighbours out walking their dogs.

36 Likes
A thread to link to some top quality 2017/NewDiS posts
#84

He should have done it on the pavement and blamed it on one of the dogs.

3 Likes
#85

this has done me completely. People looking at me wierdly in the office because I’m pretty much crying.

4 Likes
#86

I have done this also.
But I used a tupperware for a makeshift potty and a small carrier bag.

The people next to us had a huge catapult and were flinging all sorts of shit about all weekend and I was very tempted to ask if I could fling my bag of poo but my boyfriend at the time stopped me, the fucking bore.

Same boyfriend was also in the car with me whilst I shat myself driving us home after eating a dodgy croque madame at Cafe Rouge. Wouldn’t have been too much of an issue if he could drive so I had to continue the journey crying hysterically and my knickers full of shit.

19 Likes
#87

:joy::joy::joy:

10 Likes
#88

fucking hell!!!

#89

I think Ive already told the story how I got locked outside my car in my pants at a deserted beachside car park in france and had to be helped breaking back into it by an english bloke who arrived on a brompton

1 Like
#90

I will never ever not find poo stories funny. As long as I live.

There was also the time I borrowed a suit from a mate for an interview. Didn’t get the job, went out to commiserate, got steaming, shat myself on the way home, couldn’t get the poo marks out of the suit so had to hand it back and hope he didnt notice. He never said anything.

10 Likes
#91

I absolutely love how a thread that’s supposed to be about how you were ‘helped out of an embarrassing situation’ has turned into ‘places where I shat myself’.

22 Likes
#92

I feel partly responsible for this :smile:

2 Likes
#93

Mark Haddon’s later novels struggled for commercial success

5 Likes
#94

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Let’s not, eh.