Have you ever made a mockery of crockery?

Well, have you?

We have mismatched cutlery and crockery, but it’s mostly the cutlery that I mock. Fuck off Big Fork, nobody likes you.

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Once made a mug of a mug

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Our flat has very ugly 70s inspired plates, which are too ugly to eat off. They are mocked

Shoved a glass up my arse

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I did lampoon a spoon

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I’m just going to have to check if mug comes under crockery, will get back to you on this one.

Took the piss out of a knife for fish

Have you ever wronged a tong?

Got caught banting a flan tin

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I once arrived late with a side plate

Not me, but this dolphin I know smashed some porcelain with it’s dorsal fin

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He’s Greek, he’s great
He’ll smash your dinner plate
Samaras. Samaras

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Been known to troll a bowl

I once talked pish to a dish

Pwned a pizza stone

Wrestled a pestle and slaughtered the mortar

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If @eems had started this thread, there’d be ban requests galore!

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You’re in jizz-town now, kid.

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I once told a slow cooker it was certainly no looker

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